Fall of 2008 will forever be remembered as the Semester of Boxes and Suitcases. Penn moved. Then I moved. Then Penn's good friend bought a house and he and his wife also moved, with a lot of help from us. Next weekend my friend from school who is taking over the lease on my old apartment is moving, with a lot of help from me. In the midst of all the moving I packed suitcases and went to Delaware. And Boston. And San Francisco. And back to Penn's hometown for Thanksgiving. Oh, and remember back before all the moving actually started, how I was going up to Penn's hometown at least every other weekend, and there was the whole Niagara Falls trip...Good lord. So many good things, but SO MANY DAMN BOXES.
Honestly, I don't even want to think about traveling to my parents' house for Christmas right now because it's going to involve yet another suitcase. Thankfully, I still have almost three weeks until I have to do that.
Luckily, the new apartment is finally almost completely organized. I packed up all the rest of the stuff from my old apartment and moved it over here on Tuesday, and I spent Wednesday cleaning the old place so that my friend can move in. After a month of living in limbo I finally have all of my stuff in one apartment again, which is a very nice feeling. I even have the whole place almost completely organized! I'm forcing Penn to help me hang all of our pictures and wall decorations tomorrow and then I have to organize a filing cabinet and that's it. And then I'm immediately decorating for Christmas, so I'll take pictures and post them sometime in the next few days so that you guys can see the new place. I'm really proud of it. Penn and I did a pretty good job of combining our stuff into a nice looking home, and I'm really proud of everything he's doing to keep the place looking neat because he knows that's important to me. And even though we've already been living together for a month, I still feel a little giddy every time I look at our toothbrushes resting in the same cup or my high heeled shoes lined up on the shelf under his tool chest. Things are going well.
I wish I'd done a better job of writing about the month of November. A lot happened, and most of it was really good and a lot of fun. But between all the moving and travel I seriously haven't had more than an hour here and there of free time, because the schoolwork load has been just as heavy as ever. But I'm doing great. Happy, healthy, busy, and in love. What more do you need to hear, really?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
How You Know You've Found a Good Man
You all know I sleep with socks on my hands, right? (To help hold in my moisturizer, and no, I can't stand the way moisturizing gloves feel on my hands, etc.) Well, prior to us moving in together, Penn had never experienced my sock hands. Oh, he knew that it was a habit of mine, mostly because it seems like every time he met one of my friends for the first couple of months they would gleefully ask, "Ooh, has she slept with socks on her hands yet?!" (That's my "thing", apparently.) But for all these months I hadn't been sleeping with socks on my hands when I was with him. Since we were only together some nights, there were still usually enough other nights in the week where I could go be a freak in the privacy of my own home. That, and having socks on your hands sort of precludes you from certain bedroom activities, if you know what I mean.
But now that we're living together, I've had to break out the socks in mixed company. If I don't use my socks at least a few nights a week, my hands get so dry it's unbearable (I'm half alligator, I swear). So the other night I waited until I was pretty sure we were finished euphemistically "going to bed" and actually going to bed and then I quietly snuck over to my side of the bed and put on some lotion and my socks. Well, of course Penn noticed and laughed like crazy and asked if I wanted some gloves for my feet and then told me that he thinks it's cute. Insane, but cute.
This morning he had to wake up a couple of hours before I did, so while he was in the bedroom getting dressed I was still dozing in bed. When Penn leaned down to kiss me goodbye he said, "Do you realize you're sleeping wearing nothing but socks on your hands? You look like a mental patient." And I laughed and then he proceeded to kiss me goodbye for much, much longer than is necessary, proving that somehow he still finds me sexy even when it's 7:30 in the morning and my hair looks like a bird's nest and I haven't brushed my teeth in eight hours AND there are socks on my hands. I think that's pretty good.
One other quick anecdote: The other day Penn said to me, "Oh yeah, I meant to tell you: I was looking around at a book fair the other day and I found a book called How to Clean Everything. It was only a dollar so I was going to buy it for you because I knew you'd like it, but then I said, 'No. If I do that, she is really going to want to clean EVERYTHING.' And you already clean enough!" Poor guy.
But now that we're living together, I've had to break out the socks in mixed company. If I don't use my socks at least a few nights a week, my hands get so dry it's unbearable (I'm half alligator, I swear). So the other night I waited until I was pretty sure we were finished euphemistically "going to bed" and actually going to bed and then I quietly snuck over to my side of the bed and put on some lotion and my socks. Well, of course Penn noticed and laughed like crazy and asked if I wanted some gloves for my feet and then told me that he thinks it's cute. Insane, but cute.
This morning he had to wake up a couple of hours before I did, so while he was in the bedroom getting dressed I was still dozing in bed. When Penn leaned down to kiss me goodbye he said, "Do you realize you're sleeping wearing nothing but socks on your hands? You look like a mental patient." And I laughed and then he proceeded to kiss me goodbye for much, much longer than is necessary, proving that somehow he still finds me sexy even when it's 7:30 in the morning and my hair looks like a bird's nest and I haven't brushed my teeth in eight hours AND there are socks on my hands. I think that's pretty good.
One other quick anecdote: The other day Penn said to me, "Oh yeah, I meant to tell you: I was looking around at a book fair the other day and I found a book called How to Clean Everything. It was only a dollar so I was going to buy it for you because I knew you'd like it, but then I said, 'No. If I do that, she is really going to want to clean EVERYTHING.' And you already clean enough!" Poor guy.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Hi Kiki!
Kiki demanded a blog entry yesterday, and she also demanded that I mention her in the entry. So there, that's one thing accomplished today!
I realize it has actually been a really long time since I wrote anything worthwhile, but I have a lot of excuses. I've known for months that November was going to be a hectic month because of the two conferences I have (had) to attend. That means two papers to polish for presentation (and in the case of one of the conference, several other people's papers to read) plus two time consuming trips to take. Then everything happened with Penn's new job and him moving down here and our decision to move in together earlier than planned and the next thing I know I wasn't just going to two conferences in November, I was also doing a mid-semester move (which anyone in their right mind will tell you to never do, ever). Then there was my birthday, which was lots of fun, but celebrating is another reason I haven't had time to really write in a long time. And then about three weeks ago I felt really lousy for a couple of days and the cold lingered and lingered and then turned into a sore throat and eventually turned into the Cough That Will Not End. I feel like I've been sick for years. Several people have suggested I have bronchitis. One of my professors went to a doctor and was officially diagnosed with it herself and ever since she has been hassling me to go to a doctor, too. Since it seems to be going around right now I suppose I probably do have bronchitis, but I just don't think going to the doctor is worth it. What will a doctor do, charge me fifty bucks and give me a cough suppressant? Bronchitis is a viral thing, you can't take antiobiotics for it, therefore going to a doctor is pointless. So basically I've been hacking my way through classes and trying not to cough in my boyfriend's ear all night long and occasionally suggesting that someone fly me to somewhere warm and dry and put me in a sanatorium. Fortunately, I finally seem to be doing better this week.
So yeah, that's why I haven't been writing. And now I have so many things I could write about I don't even know where to begin. Ummmmm...cohabitating is fun! Seriously, everything is going really well with the new place. We have enough organized and unpacked and I've moved enough of my stuff over that it feels more or less comfortable and I feel like I'm actually living here and not just living out of a suitcase. We currently have what I've dubbed the White Trash Living Room since we haven't moved my couch over here yet and therefore our furniture consists of a slipcovered recliner and two beach chairs (complete with beer holders), but the bedroom is almost completely in order and the kitchen and dining room are fully functional. The office is still a disaster since that's where I've been throwing everything I want to deal with later, but honestly, many, many people would live their entire lives in this apartment in its current state and be completely satisfied. (People that are much less anal and organized than me!)
I haven't spent a single night in my old apartment since Penn moved down here, so it's a really, really good thing we decided not to maintain my lease until the summer. I thought it would feel kind of sad to leave my old apartment and officially leave my life as a single woman, but truthfully I haven't even had time to feel nostalgic about it. The only time I felt a little sad was when I went over there the other day to pick up some stuff and I realized that I never really had the closure of Last Night in This Room or Last Walk With the Dog in This Place like I usually like to have. I normally like to give myself a little mental ritual and ceremony of closure, and I didn't get to do that this time around because all of the moving has happened so fast and there has been so much else happening in the meantime.
But you know, it's okay. Even though that apartment is still technically mine until mid-December, it doesn't feel like home anymore when I go over there. The new place feels like home. Last night I was walking the dog up the steps to our condo and I thought, "Wow, I live here with my boyfriend," and it was weird to think that a year ago I didn't even know Penn and couldn't have imagined this place or that I'd be living here with him. But now I can't imagine NOT living here with him. I'm excited to see how our life plays out here. So far it's really going well.
You'll be impressed to know that I DID try out the Clothes Mountain method, but only for a week and only because I don't have a dresser here yet. Still, I tried it! What's more impressive is that I've already started indoctrinating Penn into the Way of the Closet. I sent him a message to get our laundry out of the basement laundry room yesterday while I was at school, and when I came home he had not only brought the laundry upstairs but had folded and hung up his own clothes. I was so happy and proud! So I'm in the process of convincing him that organization makes both of our lives easier, and he's in the process of convincing me that it's okay to leave the dirty skillet in the sink overnight once in a while, and it's looking like we're going to do just fine living together. I love coming home after my night classes and having him here happy to see me, I love that he works close enough to come home and meet me for lunch (or "lunch") once in a while on the days that I don't have to go to campus, I love that whenever I think of something I need to tell him I can just shout, "Hey, guess what?" into the other room instead of finding my phone and calling him, I love getting to use him as a pillow every night...he's actually really good for me because ever since we moved in together I've been going to sleep when he does, which is actually a normal time of night for a person to go to bed (we're usually in bed by 11:00). My schoolwork has been kicking my ass so much lately that I've been having to get up at ungodly times like 3 or 4 AM to finish papers and reading, but now that I have my schoolwork under control again I'll actually be able to sleep from 11:00 to 7 or 8 in the morning, which is completely reasonable and so much more healthy than what I used to do when I lived alone.
The condo itself is working our really nicely, too, other than the fact that I've managed to lock myself out of it TWICE so far. It's so ridiculous I don't even want to get into it except to tell you that the other day I sat in the hallway and read the phonebook for an hour while waiting for Penn to come home on his lunch break and let me and the hound back inside. Needless to say, I'm making a spare key and putting it in a convenient location ASAP. Otherwise, though, things are great. It's pretty quiet. We're near a railroad crossing so I hear trains a lot when I'm awake but they're never loud enough to wake me up when I'm sleeping (and I've always been a big fan of train whistles, anyway, I've mentioned before about how I romanticize trains), and we have a neighbor who likes to blast loud Chinese music once in a while, but he goes to bed early. I feel safe walking the dog around the neighborhood, and being able to walk to the grocery store in two minutes is awesome. The kitchen is just as nice as I hoped it would be. We have an entire drawer that holds just two pitchers because I seriously don't know what to do with all of our storage space. The bathroom has tons of storage space, too (his-and-hers medicine cabinets AND under-sink storage AND a linen closet), and a shower that makes me feel like I'm at a spa, but oddly enough there are no plugs anywhere in the bathroom so we have to store an extension cord under the sink to plug hair straighteners and beard trimmers into the hallway plug. The bedroom is enormous, which I didn't really realize until we moved my bed into it and I realized that it's literally twice as big as the bedroom at my old place. I like looking out the windows and into the tree tops. And the whole place is already full of books and I haven't even moved mine over yet. I'm so happy the man I'm spending my life with is a reader. I feel like we're going to be happy here. I already am.
In other news, it has been interesting to watch the fallout from the election. My brother tells me that everyone in my home state is convinced that Obama's election is the end of the world, whereas up here in my blue state I feel like people have been doing happy dances in the hallways, and at the conference I went to in Boston over the weekend all anyone wanted to talk about was how it's a victory for the artists and the intellectuals (which would be nice, but we'll see about that). The vastly different reactions are very interesting to me. I hope the polarization is just a temporary thing and that by the time January roles around everyone will be ready to settle down and be reasonable.
It's no huge secret that I live a brief subway ride from the capital (I just don't write the city name because I'd rather not be easily googleable), and I can't imagine how insane things are going to get here for the inauguration. Apparently every hotel room in the city and surrounding suburbs is already gone and people are now renting their apartments out for up to two grand! Naturally, Penn has decided that this is what we should do: rent our condo out for two grand and use the money to take a ski vacation. While part of me thinks that would be awesome, I think that the possibility that a renter could completely trash our place or make off with half of our stuff means that I won't actually be able to be talked into doing it. That, and I'm wondering if people are really getting that much money for their apartments or whether that's just what they're hoping to get on Craig's List. As of right now, Penn and I are trying to get tickets to the inauguration. I've been thinking about doing it ever since I moved here, I just didn't realize it would end up being quite the historic event it has become. Now it seems like it's going to be nearly impossible to get tickets. I wrote a letter to my senator today pretending to be my father (he told me I could do it, and it's not like he has any huge amount of clout but, hey, he has more than I do!) and he's going to get one of his lobbyist friends to put in a word for me (him), but I'd be surprised if we actually managed to get a coveted ticket. So, hey, maybe we will be renting out the condo and getting out of the madhouse that week. We'll see.
I have a lot of other things I should talk about eventually: my birthday (Penn rocked my birthday, by the way), the conference I just went to, the schoolwork that has been killing me, the fact that I think I finally have a couple of feasible dissertation ideas...but it's 10:30 and I've had several glasses of wine so I think that means it's bedtime.
P.S.-I don't have to go out of town this weekend. That's the first time that has happened in a month, and the last time that it will happen for two weeks! I'm so excited. All I have to do tomorrow is meet a friend at the mall for a movie and shopping. I love when life has been insanely hectic and it suddenly gets temporarily easier.
I realize it has actually been a really long time since I wrote anything worthwhile, but I have a lot of excuses. I've known for months that November was going to be a hectic month because of the two conferences I have (had) to attend. That means two papers to polish for presentation (and in the case of one of the conference, several other people's papers to read) plus two time consuming trips to take. Then everything happened with Penn's new job and him moving down here and our decision to move in together earlier than planned and the next thing I know I wasn't just going to two conferences in November, I was also doing a mid-semester move (which anyone in their right mind will tell you to never do, ever). Then there was my birthday, which was lots of fun, but celebrating is another reason I haven't had time to really write in a long time. And then about three weeks ago I felt really lousy for a couple of days and the cold lingered and lingered and then turned into a sore throat and eventually turned into the Cough That Will Not End. I feel like I've been sick for years. Several people have suggested I have bronchitis. One of my professors went to a doctor and was officially diagnosed with it herself and ever since she has been hassling me to go to a doctor, too. Since it seems to be going around right now I suppose I probably do have bronchitis, but I just don't think going to the doctor is worth it. What will a doctor do, charge me fifty bucks and give me a cough suppressant? Bronchitis is a viral thing, you can't take antiobiotics for it, therefore going to a doctor is pointless. So basically I've been hacking my way through classes and trying not to cough in my boyfriend's ear all night long and occasionally suggesting that someone fly me to somewhere warm and dry and put me in a sanatorium. Fortunately, I finally seem to be doing better this week.
So yeah, that's why I haven't been writing. And now I have so many things I could write about I don't even know where to begin. Ummmmm...cohabitating is fun! Seriously, everything is going really well with the new place. We have enough organized and unpacked and I've moved enough of my stuff over that it feels more or less comfortable and I feel like I'm actually living here and not just living out of a suitcase. We currently have what I've dubbed the White Trash Living Room since we haven't moved my couch over here yet and therefore our furniture consists of a slipcovered recliner and two beach chairs (complete with beer holders), but the bedroom is almost completely in order and the kitchen and dining room are fully functional. The office is still a disaster since that's where I've been throwing everything I want to deal with later, but honestly, many, many people would live their entire lives in this apartment in its current state and be completely satisfied. (People that are much less anal and organized than me!)
I haven't spent a single night in my old apartment since Penn moved down here, so it's a really, really good thing we decided not to maintain my lease until the summer. I thought it would feel kind of sad to leave my old apartment and officially leave my life as a single woman, but truthfully I haven't even had time to feel nostalgic about it. The only time I felt a little sad was when I went over there the other day to pick up some stuff and I realized that I never really had the closure of Last Night in This Room or Last Walk With the Dog in This Place like I usually like to have. I normally like to give myself a little mental ritual and ceremony of closure, and I didn't get to do that this time around because all of the moving has happened so fast and there has been so much else happening in the meantime.
But you know, it's okay. Even though that apartment is still technically mine until mid-December, it doesn't feel like home anymore when I go over there. The new place feels like home. Last night I was walking the dog up the steps to our condo and I thought, "Wow, I live here with my boyfriend," and it was weird to think that a year ago I didn't even know Penn and couldn't have imagined this place or that I'd be living here with him. But now I can't imagine NOT living here with him. I'm excited to see how our life plays out here. So far it's really going well.
You'll be impressed to know that I DID try out the Clothes Mountain method, but only for a week and only because I don't have a dresser here yet. Still, I tried it! What's more impressive is that I've already started indoctrinating Penn into the Way of the Closet. I sent him a message to get our laundry out of the basement laundry room yesterday while I was at school, and when I came home he had not only brought the laundry upstairs but had folded and hung up his own clothes. I was so happy and proud! So I'm in the process of convincing him that organization makes both of our lives easier, and he's in the process of convincing me that it's okay to leave the dirty skillet in the sink overnight once in a while, and it's looking like we're going to do just fine living together. I love coming home after my night classes and having him here happy to see me, I love that he works close enough to come home and meet me for lunch (or "lunch") once in a while on the days that I don't have to go to campus, I love that whenever I think of something I need to tell him I can just shout, "Hey, guess what?" into the other room instead of finding my phone and calling him, I love getting to use him as a pillow every night...he's actually really good for me because ever since we moved in together I've been going to sleep when he does, which is actually a normal time of night for a person to go to bed (we're usually in bed by 11:00). My schoolwork has been kicking my ass so much lately that I've been having to get up at ungodly times like 3 or 4 AM to finish papers and reading, but now that I have my schoolwork under control again I'll actually be able to sleep from 11:00 to 7 or 8 in the morning, which is completely reasonable and so much more healthy than what I used to do when I lived alone.
The condo itself is working our really nicely, too, other than the fact that I've managed to lock myself out of it TWICE so far. It's so ridiculous I don't even want to get into it except to tell you that the other day I sat in the hallway and read the phonebook for an hour while waiting for Penn to come home on his lunch break and let me and the hound back inside. Needless to say, I'm making a spare key and putting it in a convenient location ASAP. Otherwise, though, things are great. It's pretty quiet. We're near a railroad crossing so I hear trains a lot when I'm awake but they're never loud enough to wake me up when I'm sleeping (and I've always been a big fan of train whistles, anyway, I've mentioned before about how I romanticize trains), and we have a neighbor who likes to blast loud Chinese music once in a while, but he goes to bed early. I feel safe walking the dog around the neighborhood, and being able to walk to the grocery store in two minutes is awesome. The kitchen is just as nice as I hoped it would be. We have an entire drawer that holds just two pitchers because I seriously don't know what to do with all of our storage space. The bathroom has tons of storage space, too (his-and-hers medicine cabinets AND under-sink storage AND a linen closet), and a shower that makes me feel like I'm at a spa, but oddly enough there are no plugs anywhere in the bathroom so we have to store an extension cord under the sink to plug hair straighteners and beard trimmers into the hallway plug. The bedroom is enormous, which I didn't really realize until we moved my bed into it and I realized that it's literally twice as big as the bedroom at my old place. I like looking out the windows and into the tree tops. And the whole place is already full of books and I haven't even moved mine over yet. I'm so happy the man I'm spending my life with is a reader. I feel like we're going to be happy here. I already am.
In other news, it has been interesting to watch the fallout from the election. My brother tells me that everyone in my home state is convinced that Obama's election is the end of the world, whereas up here in my blue state I feel like people have been doing happy dances in the hallways, and at the conference I went to in Boston over the weekend all anyone wanted to talk about was how it's a victory for the artists and the intellectuals (which would be nice, but we'll see about that). The vastly different reactions are very interesting to me. I hope the polarization is just a temporary thing and that by the time January roles around everyone will be ready to settle down and be reasonable.
It's no huge secret that I live a brief subway ride from the capital (I just don't write the city name because I'd rather not be easily googleable), and I can't imagine how insane things are going to get here for the inauguration. Apparently every hotel room in the city and surrounding suburbs is already gone and people are now renting their apartments out for up to two grand! Naturally, Penn has decided that this is what we should do: rent our condo out for two grand and use the money to take a ski vacation. While part of me thinks that would be awesome, I think that the possibility that a renter could completely trash our place or make off with half of our stuff means that I won't actually be able to be talked into doing it. That, and I'm wondering if people are really getting that much money for their apartments or whether that's just what they're hoping to get on Craig's List. As of right now, Penn and I are trying to get tickets to the inauguration. I've been thinking about doing it ever since I moved here, I just didn't realize it would end up being quite the historic event it has become. Now it seems like it's going to be nearly impossible to get tickets. I wrote a letter to my senator today pretending to be my father (he told me I could do it, and it's not like he has any huge amount of clout but, hey, he has more than I do!) and he's going to get one of his lobbyist friends to put in a word for me (him), but I'd be surprised if we actually managed to get a coveted ticket. So, hey, maybe we will be renting out the condo and getting out of the madhouse that week. We'll see.
I have a lot of other things I should talk about eventually: my birthday (Penn rocked my birthday, by the way), the conference I just went to, the schoolwork that has been killing me, the fact that I think I finally have a couple of feasible dissertation ideas...but it's 10:30 and I've had several glasses of wine so I think that means it's bedtime.
P.S.-I don't have to go out of town this weekend. That's the first time that has happened in a month, and the last time that it will happen for two weeks! I'm so excited. All I have to do tomorrow is meet a friend at the mall for a movie and shopping. I love when life has been insanely hectic and it suddenly gets temporarily easier.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Happy Early Birthday to Me!
I'll be 26 years old in 45 minutes. And while that's a (minor) historic event in my personal life, I realize that most of the rest of the country doesn't give a damn. But besides being the eve of a special day for me, it is an historic day for everyone else in this country, too, of course, whether or not you voted for Obama (or even voted at all).
I don't talk much about politics here, but it's no secret that I'm really happy that America elected Barack Obama today. It's pretty amazing to be sitting here with Penn on the living room floor* drinking a celebratory beer and thinking about how someday our kids might ask us what it was like when this country elected the first president who wasn't a white man. And I'm not even sure what exactly I'll tell them. It has been a long, often tedious campaign season. But now that all is said and done I'm happy I was here to witness it.
Don't screw this up, Mr. Soon-to-be-President. There are a lot of us who aren't idealistic enough to believe in hope or change or buy into the cult of personality but who still think you can be a good leader for this country. Don't let us down.
*We still haven't moved a couch over to the new place yet. We threw Penn's dilapidated couch away and I still have my old place until mid-December so we've been moving stuff over gradually and the couch hasn't made it yet. As of two nights ago we do have a bed, though! Priorities, people.
I don't talk much about politics here, but it's no secret that I'm really happy that America elected Barack Obama today. It's pretty amazing to be sitting here with Penn on the living room floor* drinking a celebratory beer and thinking about how someday our kids might ask us what it was like when this country elected the first president who wasn't a white man. And I'm not even sure what exactly I'll tell them. It has been a long, often tedious campaign season. But now that all is said and done I'm happy I was here to witness it.
Don't screw this up, Mr. Soon-to-be-President. There are a lot of us who aren't idealistic enough to believe in hope or change or buy into the cult of personality but who still think you can be a good leader for this country. Don't let us down.
*We still haven't moved a couch over to the new place yet. We threw Penn's dilapidated couch away and I still have my old place until mid-December so we've been moving stuff over gradually and the couch hasn't made it yet. As of two nights ago we do have a bed, though! Priorities, people.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
In Outline Form
Hey, it's been ten days since I last wrote here. This is due to a combination of
-schoolwork (which isn't currently any more of an insane amount of work than it usually is, it's just that, well, it's still the insane amount of work it usually is)
-my grandparents coming to visit and needing to be entertained for two days
-the fact that I have to go to two conferences in the next three weeks and I am currently trying to polish both papers I'm presenting (and "polish" in one case actually means "write the entire thing")
-the stupid stupid cold I've had for over a week now, and
-Penn's move over the weekend (the majority of which took place in nonstop pouring rain on the same weekend that some sort of bank robbery/shooting fiasco closed down every major highway into his hometown, leading to a really fun back country road adventure for me and apparently 10,000 other drivers.)
The good news is
-I had fun with my grandparents (when I wasn't being lectured about Barack Obama's evil socialist plans and the utter correctness of Fox News)
-My cold is slowly but surely going away
-The discussion group for one of the conferences has given me positive feedback on my paper so far, thank god, and
-My boyfriend actually lives in the same city that I do! I can get out of class and go to our apartment! We can see each other every day now! I've spent two nights in the condo and so far it's proving to be as nice as I hoped it would be (the kitchen storage space, oh my god, unbelievable), and it's going to be even nicer when there is internet there and an actual bed because we haven't moved any of my furniture over there yet and Penn's mattress was a casualty of the move so we're sleeping in a nest of pillow and blankets on the floor. What, you think I'd actually sleep at my own furnished apartment? No. Beds and couches are for sissies.
I'll try to post more regularly sometime in the future, but it definitely won't be happening until after the weekend because I have my (early) birthday/Halloween party on Thursday night and then I'm going to "Punkin Chunkin" and watching a bunch of redneck guys slingshot pumpkins around all weekend, so in other words, I'm busy. With important stuff.
-schoolwork (which isn't currently any more of an insane amount of work than it usually is, it's just that, well, it's still the insane amount of work it usually is)
-my grandparents coming to visit and needing to be entertained for two days
-the fact that I have to go to two conferences in the next three weeks and I am currently trying to polish both papers I'm presenting (and "polish" in one case actually means "write the entire thing")
-the stupid stupid cold I've had for over a week now, and
-Penn's move over the weekend (the majority of which took place in nonstop pouring rain on the same weekend that some sort of bank robbery/shooting fiasco closed down every major highway into his hometown, leading to a really fun back country road adventure for me and apparently 10,000 other drivers.)
The good news is
-I had fun with my grandparents (when I wasn't being lectured about Barack Obama's evil socialist plans and the utter correctness of Fox News)
-My cold is slowly but surely going away
-The discussion group for one of the conferences has given me positive feedback on my paper so far, thank god, and
-My boyfriend actually lives in the same city that I do! I can get out of class and go to our apartment! We can see each other every day now! I've spent two nights in the condo and so far it's proving to be as nice as I hoped it would be (the kitchen storage space, oh my god, unbelievable), and it's going to be even nicer when there is internet there and an actual bed because we haven't moved any of my furniture over there yet and Penn's mattress was a casualty of the move so we're sleeping in a nest of pillow and blankets on the floor. What, you think I'd actually sleep at my own furnished apartment? No. Beds and couches are for sissies.
I'll try to post more regularly sometime in the future, but it definitely won't be happening until after the weekend because I have my (early) birthday/Halloween party on Thursday night and then I'm going to "Punkin Chunkin" and watching a bunch of redneck guys slingshot pumpkins around all weekend, so in other words, I'm busy. With important stuff.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Rules for Cohabitation
Good news! Penn and I got approved for the condo! We sign the lease as soon as it is e-mailed to us and Penn moves in on Saturday. I can't wait to start moving our stuff in and decorating and getting settled (well, I'll be decorating; I'm pretty sure Penn couldn't possibly care less about what anything in our apartment looks like as long as it's functional). I'm not so much looking forward to the transition of the next couple of months. I have a feeling that until I get fully settled into the new place it's going to feel like I'm living in two places at once, and that's going to be hard for me because you know how I like routine and knowing where everything is. The fact that something I need could potentially be not just in the wrong room but in the wrong apartment half an hour away is, um, stressful. To be honest, that's partially why even with my crazy school and travel schedule during the month of November I'm still gunning to be out of my current apartment before I go to Hometown at Christmas break and preferably by the end of Thanksgiving weekend: I'm just really eager to have everything organized in one place. Plus you know how I am. Once I make a decision to do something, I want to plan it and then do it immediately.
Penn and I had a lot of funny conversations this weekend about how we're going to manage our life habits to coexist in the same place non-stop. He had me dying laughing when he told me that by living with me he will now have a major increase in the amount of rules in his life. He was like, "Right now I live by one rule, just one: no other women. That's fine. I'm great with that rule. But now I have all of these NEW RULES to follow!" He keeps joking that I'm going to have to make him a scroll of rules he's going to have to follow to live with me. So, for the record, here are the so-called "rules" that I am going to impose:
1) Put clean clothes on hangers and in drawers. (It is important to note that I didn't say, "Do laundry," or "Fold your own clothes" because I'm planning to do those things myself! I do my own laundry once a week anyway so I don't care about adding his laundry to mine. It's not like adding one other person's clothes makes the job that much bigger. The only rule is that he has to actually use the closet and the dresser to store the things I wash.)
2) Put dishes in the dishwasher as opposed to leaving them in the sink.
3) Don't leave piles of random papers on all the flat surfaces in the house. Stick them in the desk drawer where I don't have to look at them (Note here that I didn't say "Organize your scraps of paper," because I honestly don't care if he wants to stuff a desk full of receipts and Christmas cards from 2006 as long as I don't have to see it when I look around the room.)
See?! Easiest rules EVER! But he thinks we need to compromise. In exchange for me forcing him to use hangers for the rest of his natural life (that's the actual phrase he used, "the rest of my natural life," and then I think he groaned and said, "Fifty years!"), he wants me to try out his method for a month. Which sounds fine, in theory, except would you like to know what his method is? His method is you wash the clothes, bring them upstairs in the laundry basket, and drop them on the bedroom floor. In a pile. A gigantic Clothes Mountain. Maybe if you are really feeling ambitious you pick out the pairs of socks and ball them up so that you don't have to dig through the pile to find matching socks in the morning, but that's assuming you care about having matching socks. Oh, and your nice clothes that can't be too wrinkly for work get thrown on the clothes rack in the corner.
Just so you know, I consider it a major accomplishment that I have already been coexisting with the Clothes Mountain at his apartment for seven months. And I realize that healthy relationships are all about minor compromise but there is no way I could ever live with my own personal Clothes Mountain for even a week without going insane. I have proven that I can live with his clothes in a big pile on the floor without getting too twitchy, but the idea of my clothes in a giant pile is just...no. Luckily, everyone he has polled so far--his friends, mind you--agree that in general life should move towards and not away from civilization. Plus we realized that Penn actually has made a few rules for me to follow*, too, so I think I have now managed to get out of the Clothes Mountain experiment. One of Penn's friends pointed out that while I am correct in thinking that I shouldn't have to try out the Clothes Mountain "method", this means that I will never experience the joy of grabbing the nearest clean shirt off the floor and putting it on. But you know what? I am pretty sure that is an experience I can live without. Because I have been alive for almost 26 years and do you know how many times I have gotten up in the morning and grabbed an outfit off the bedroom floor? Exactly zero.
*Rules Penn has imposed:
1) No pets in the bed when we're both in it (I can cuddle with them when I'm in bed by myself, but he's such a light sleeper he can't handle them in bed shifting around at night. Plus even I have to admit nothing kills a sexy moment like the cat leaping up onto the bed and shoving himself in between you like, "Hey guys! Oh, it kind of looks like you're licking each other! I'm great at this game, I have a sandpaper tongue! Check it out!")
2) I let him have the TV remote pretty much all the time, especially on Football Sundays. (This is because 99% of the time I really don't care what is on the TV because I'm too busy reading, but I think if I can pass off, "You are in charge of the TV" as one of his rules for me then that aids my whole, "Look, we're both making compromises, I don't have to try the Clothes Mountain!" argument. Ha.)
Penn and I had a lot of funny conversations this weekend about how we're going to manage our life habits to coexist in the same place non-stop. He had me dying laughing when he told me that by living with me he will now have a major increase in the amount of rules in his life. He was like, "Right now I live by one rule, just one: no other women. That's fine. I'm great with that rule. But now I have all of these NEW RULES to follow!" He keeps joking that I'm going to have to make him a scroll of rules he's going to have to follow to live with me. So, for the record, here are the so-called "rules" that I am going to impose:
1) Put clean clothes on hangers and in drawers. (It is important to note that I didn't say, "Do laundry," or "Fold your own clothes" because I'm planning to do those things myself! I do my own laundry once a week anyway so I don't care about adding his laundry to mine. It's not like adding one other person's clothes makes the job that much bigger. The only rule is that he has to actually use the closet and the dresser to store the things I wash.)
2) Put dishes in the dishwasher as opposed to leaving them in the sink.
3) Don't leave piles of random papers on all the flat surfaces in the house. Stick them in the desk drawer where I don't have to look at them (Note here that I didn't say "Organize your scraps of paper," because I honestly don't care if he wants to stuff a desk full of receipts and Christmas cards from 2006 as long as I don't have to see it when I look around the room.)
See?! Easiest rules EVER! But he thinks we need to compromise. In exchange for me forcing him to use hangers for the rest of his natural life (that's the actual phrase he used, "the rest of my natural life," and then I think he groaned and said, "Fifty years!"), he wants me to try out his method for a month. Which sounds fine, in theory, except would you like to know what his method is? His method is you wash the clothes, bring them upstairs in the laundry basket, and drop them on the bedroom floor. In a pile. A gigantic Clothes Mountain. Maybe if you are really feeling ambitious you pick out the pairs of socks and ball them up so that you don't have to dig through the pile to find matching socks in the morning, but that's assuming you care about having matching socks. Oh, and your nice clothes that can't be too wrinkly for work get thrown on the clothes rack in the corner.
Just so you know, I consider it a major accomplishment that I have already been coexisting with the Clothes Mountain at his apartment for seven months. And I realize that healthy relationships are all about minor compromise but there is no way I could ever live with my own personal Clothes Mountain for even a week without going insane. I have proven that I can live with his clothes in a big pile on the floor without getting too twitchy, but the idea of my clothes in a giant pile is just...no. Luckily, everyone he has polled so far--his friends, mind you--agree that in general life should move towards and not away from civilization. Plus we realized that Penn actually has made a few rules for me to follow*, too, so I think I have now managed to get out of the Clothes Mountain experiment. One of Penn's friends pointed out that while I am correct in thinking that I shouldn't have to try out the Clothes Mountain "method", this means that I will never experience the joy of grabbing the nearest clean shirt off the floor and putting it on. But you know what? I am pretty sure that is an experience I can live without. Because I have been alive for almost 26 years and do you know how many times I have gotten up in the morning and grabbed an outfit off the bedroom floor? Exactly zero.
*Rules Penn has imposed:
1) No pets in the bed when we're both in it (I can cuddle with them when I'm in bed by myself, but he's such a light sleeper he can't handle them in bed shifting around at night. Plus even I have to admit nothing kills a sexy moment like the cat leaping up onto the bed and shoving himself in between you like, "Hey guys! Oh, it kind of looks like you're licking each other! I'm great at this game, I have a sandpaper tongue! Check it out!")
2) I let him have the TV remote pretty much all the time, especially on Football Sundays. (This is because 99% of the time I really don't care what is on the TV because I'm too busy reading, but I think if I can pass off, "You are in charge of the TV" as one of his rules for me then that aids my whole, "Look, we're both making compromises, I don't have to try the Clothes Mountain!" argument. Ha.)
Monday, October 13, 2008
Bullets
-Kiki took the quiz I blogged about yesterday, and her results were extremely accurate, too! She posted her results in my comments section and I read through them just now and was like, "Yes, yes, yes, mostly yes, DEFINITELY yes..." It's kind of freaky! Now I want everyone to take this quiz so I can see if it is accurate for everyone or just for us. Think it would work for guys? I know the icons are women, but gender doesn't really seem to play into the descriptions...
-Place where I have no interest in ever going? Branson, Missouri. It's one of those things that I feel is pretty much the antithesis of my personality.
-Also the antithesis of my personality? That horrible ad for the National Guard that they sometimes play before movies in the theaters these days. Have you seen it? It combines army brainwashing with Kid Rock and NASCAR. My personal version of hell would be watching that video over and over and over again. I'd try to find it on YouTube, but I don't think you should have to sit through it, either.
-Remember when I was babbling on and on about how good sparkpeople.com is? Well, I still use it regularly (although not quite as much as I was at first; I find that I don't need to track quite as carefully now that I have a better sense of what constitutes a normal portion size). And now I've found another free website where you can enter your bank account information (minus secure info) and make a budget! It's great, it shows you where all of your money is going without you having to take the time to enter anything. I just made a budget that I can start using once I move in with Penn. Because I need a budget. I'm about two months away from finally running out of the money I saved up from bartending/living at home in summer of 2007, so if I'm going to have to start living paycheck-to-paycheck I need to budget much more carefully. I'm still trying to avoid taking out student loans for as long as possible, and I'm going to be forced to take out loans if I can't stay within my budget. I think I can handle the budget I made for myself, though. It has a lot of "fun money" and a lot of wiggle room. Now I'm just ready to get out of my money-sucking apartment (it has been a money-sucking apartment all along, but it didn't bother me as much when a cheaper option wasn't just within my grasp). Anyway, I just started on this new website today so I want to make sure it's safe and nobody is taking money out of my accounts before I recommend it without qualification, but so far so good!
-Penn would say that the above sentence is yet more proof of my organizational "sickness", and he's probably right. But I ask you, who DOESN'T want a balanced budget and a clean house? I'm like a very useful robot! A very useful robot who can love you!
-I taught my dog to ring a bell hanging from the door whenever he wants to go outside. I'm very proud that he learned how to do this. Except that now he thinks he can ring the bell whenever he needs to pee...or check out a cat, or a squirrel, or the UPS truck, or that Wendy's wrapper someone just dropped in the parking lot...
-Place where I have no interest in ever going? Branson, Missouri. It's one of those things that I feel is pretty much the antithesis of my personality.
-Also the antithesis of my personality? That horrible ad for the National Guard that they sometimes play before movies in the theaters these days. Have you seen it? It combines army brainwashing with Kid Rock and NASCAR. My personal version of hell would be watching that video over and over and over again. I'd try to find it on YouTube, but I don't think you should have to sit through it, either.
-Remember when I was babbling on and on about how good sparkpeople.com is? Well, I still use it regularly (although not quite as much as I was at first; I find that I don't need to track quite as carefully now that I have a better sense of what constitutes a normal portion size). And now I've found another free website where you can enter your bank account information (minus secure info) and make a budget! It's great, it shows you where all of your money is going without you having to take the time to enter anything. I just made a budget that I can start using once I move in with Penn. Because I need a budget. I'm about two months away from finally running out of the money I saved up from bartending/living at home in summer of 2007, so if I'm going to have to start living paycheck-to-paycheck I need to budget much more carefully. I'm still trying to avoid taking out student loans for as long as possible, and I'm going to be forced to take out loans if I can't stay within my budget. I think I can handle the budget I made for myself, though. It has a lot of "fun money" and a lot of wiggle room. Now I'm just ready to get out of my money-sucking apartment (it has been a money-sucking apartment all along, but it didn't bother me as much when a cheaper option wasn't just within my grasp). Anyway, I just started on this new website today so I want to make sure it's safe and nobody is taking money out of my accounts before I recommend it without qualification, but so far so good!
-Penn would say that the above sentence is yet more proof of my organizational "sickness", and he's probably right. But I ask you, who DOESN'T want a balanced budget and a clean house? I'm like a very useful robot! A very useful robot who can love you!
-I taught my dog to ring a bell hanging from the door whenever he wants to go outside. I'm very proud that he learned how to do this. Except that now he thinks he can ring the bell whenever he needs to pee...or check out a cat, or a squirrel, or the UPS truck, or that Wendy's wrapper someone just dropped in the parking lot...
Joan
It has been a long time since I did an online personality quiz, but I came across this one during my nightly online procrastination session(s) and I had to post my result here because it's dead accurate. Which is a little scary, considering the "female icon" I supposedly am...
The "How to Get Along With Me" is exactly true. I kind of wish the, "Don't burden me with negative emotions" thing wasn't true, but I have to admit that it is. I don't mind dealing with people that are upset when they are people that I'm close to. I'm always willing to listen to venting from people that are close to me, and I will always take care of a friend who is sad. I will always try to be supportive when a good friend is down. But even then I've never managed to be as empathetic as I would like to be. And while I don't mind dealing with sadness at all, I have absolutely zero patience for negativity and whiny attitudes. I can't stand people who never even try to look on the bright side. (Note: I'm aware that clinical depression exists, and I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the people who choose to focus on the negative in life when they're just as capable of focusing on the positive. I don't get those people and don't like dealing with them).
The "What I Like About Being a Joan" is also completely true. The "What's Hard About Being a Joan" is mostly true, too, although I don't think I put on facades as a general rule. I like to present my best self in public, particularly when I'm making a first impression, but I don't see that as putting on a facade. I see it as playing up my best features (both personality-wise and physical) and trying to play down my flaws. But doesn't everyone do this? Or am I actually putting up a facade and just trying to rationalize it? Basically, what I'm saying is I never feel like I'm not being myself.
The final two family-related sections are freakishly accurate, too. I was constantly the responsible kid, especially in early childhood. And while I'm not a parent yet, I'm already starting to think about how I'll potentially be able to balance early motherhood with keeping at least one foot in my career. I had a stay-at-home mom for the first twelve years of my life, and I think that was good for my childhood. But while I hope that things work out well financially so that I'm able to spend most of my time at home with my babies when they're tiny, I have to admit that I have a hard time envisioning myself as a full time stay-at-home mother. I think I'm one of those women that will be a better mother for being able to get out of the house once in a while and interact with adults in a business setting. I'll appreciate my kids much more, I'll have a lot more patience, etc. I may change my mind once I'm actually a mother, I know lots of women do. But right now I can't imagine not wanting to continue working at least a little bit once I have kids. I'll go completely stir-crazy if I don't. Seriously. Oh, and my children will be organized if it kills me. Or they'll at least learn to keep their messes out of my sight! Haha.
Anyway, try the quiz. I'm curious to see if it's this accurate for everyone.
You are a Joan -- "I need to succeed"
Joans are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.
How to Get Along with Me
What I Like About Being a Joan
What's Hard About Being a Joan
Joans as Children Often
Joans as Parents
The "How to Get Along With Me" is exactly true. I kind of wish the, "Don't burden me with negative emotions" thing wasn't true, but I have to admit that it is. I don't mind dealing with people that are upset when they are people that I'm close to. I'm always willing to listen to venting from people that are close to me, and I will always take care of a friend who is sad. I will always try to be supportive when a good friend is down. But even then I've never managed to be as empathetic as I would like to be. And while I don't mind dealing with sadness at all, I have absolutely zero patience for negativity and whiny attitudes. I can't stand people who never even try to look on the bright side. (Note: I'm aware that clinical depression exists, and I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the people who choose to focus on the negative in life when they're just as capable of focusing on the positive. I don't get those people and don't like dealing with them).
The "What I Like About Being a Joan" is also completely true. The "What's Hard About Being a Joan" is mostly true, too, although I don't think I put on facades as a general rule. I like to present my best self in public, particularly when I'm making a first impression, but I don't see that as putting on a facade. I see it as playing up my best features (both personality-wise and physical) and trying to play down my flaws. But doesn't everyone do this? Or am I actually putting up a facade and just trying to rationalize it? Basically, what I'm saying is I never feel like I'm not being myself.
The final two family-related sections are freakishly accurate, too. I was constantly the responsible kid, especially in early childhood. And while I'm not a parent yet, I'm already starting to think about how I'll potentially be able to balance early motherhood with keeping at least one foot in my career. I had a stay-at-home mom for the first twelve years of my life, and I think that was good for my childhood. But while I hope that things work out well financially so that I'm able to spend most of my time at home with my babies when they're tiny, I have to admit that I have a hard time envisioning myself as a full time stay-at-home mother. I think I'm one of those women that will be a better mother for being able to get out of the house once in a while and interact with adults in a business setting. I'll appreciate my kids much more, I'll have a lot more patience, etc. I may change my mind once I'm actually a mother, I know lots of women do. But right now I can't imagine not wanting to continue working at least a little bit once I have kids. I'll go completely stir-crazy if I don't. Seriously. Oh, and my children will be organized if it kills me. Or they'll at least learn to keep their messes out of my sight! Haha.
Anyway, try the quiz. I'm curious to see if it's this accurate for everyone.
Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...
You Are a Joan!
You are a Joan -- "I need to succeed"
Joans are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.
How to Get Along with Me
- * Leave me alone when I am doing my work.
- * Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.
- * Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.
- * Don't burden me with negative emotions.
- * Tell me you like being around me.
- * Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.
What I Like About Being a Joan
- * being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat
- * providing well for my family
- * being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge
- * staying informed, knowing what's going on
- * being competent and able to get things to work efficiently
- * being able to motivate people
What's Hard About Being a Joan
- * having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence
- * the fear on not being -- or of not being seen as -- successful
- * comparing myself to people who do things better
- * struggling to hang on to my success
- * putting on facades in order to impress people
- * always being "on." It's exhausting.
Joans as Children Often
- * work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments
- * are well liked by other children and by adults
- * are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school
- * are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects
Joans as Parents
- * are consistent, dependable, and loyal
- * struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to get more work done
- * expect their children to be responsible and organized
Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Jumping
I just finished saying goodnight to Penn. He was here with me on Thursday and Friday night, but now he's on his way back to his hometown for the rest of the weekend to hang out with the guys again. Which I totally approve of, by the way. His friends aren't very likely to make the drive here too often once he moves, so I think he should be hanging out with them as much as possible right now. But I was watching him walk across the parking lot right now as he was leaving and all I could think was how I can't wait until that never has to happen anymore. As far as long distance relationships go, this one has been easy. For one thing, while visiting him requires a suitcase and a hundred mile drive, I have never really considered it much of a long distance relationship. I can see him every 4-7 days and don't have to purchase a plane ticket to do so. That's not exactly a long distance relationship in my book. For another thing, we knew from a few months into this that we wanted to be in the same place as soon as possible and we started talking about plans to make that happen. There wasn't that horrible, "When is this situation ever going to end?" feeling that plagued my first long distance relationship. And since every time we get together we end up staying together for at least 2-3 days straight, I think in the grand scheme of things we probably get to spend more time together each week than most couples in more traditional dating scenarios. Still, I'm going to be really happy when he's with me every night (until we reach the phase where we've been together so long that it's a little exciting to have a night alone, but I think that's quite a way in the future).
Luckily, everything went forward as planned with the new job and Penn finally signed the contract a few days ago and starts two weeks from Monday. I'm so excited for him, and a little bit nervous. I really want this job to go well for him, it's such a good opportunity. b,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, m
[That's from the hound dog, he just climbed onto my lap and slammed his chin onto the laptop]
We also found an apartment that I think (I hope) is going to work out really well for us. We do have a second option already secured as well if our first choice doesn't work out, but this first-choice place has so much going for it that I really, really hope we get approved. First of all, it's insanely affordable for this area of the country. Basically, this place is only about $100 a month more than what I'm paying on my own right now, and so with Penn and I splitting the cost it's going to save me money (and save us a lot of money as a couple). And the place is really nice, too. We got lucky. It's actually a condo belonging to a couple that is on assignment in Japan for the next two years. It was originally renting for a price outside of our price range, but the realtor we went out with last week must have liked us because she convinced the couple to rent the place to us for $300 less than the original asking price AND to include all utilities except cable. The downside to the condo is that I'll be losing access to my little lake, and the new neighborhood is closer to the center of the city so it's a little bit louder. But I'm hoping those will be the only downsides. Everything else seems nicer. The condo itself is really nice. It's on the third floor with a big balcony, it has two bedrooms so we can use one as an office, it has a living room and a separate dining area so I can finally live in an apartment with space for a dining table (I haven't had one for three years now!), and it has such a nice kitchen: granite countertops, a breakfast bar that opens onto the living and dining rooms, slate flooring, stainless steel appliances, tons and tons of storage space. I opened what I thought was the pantry and it's actually a big wine refrigerator! (Which Penn will probably insist on using for fancy beer...and there is an actual pantry, too) When I was showing Penn the place on Friday I told him that the kitchen is my favorite part because it feels so grown-up. I don't know why at almost 26 years old I still think of things as too "adult" for me, but this kitchen is definitely one of those things. I love it, though, I can definitely see myself using it. I'll have counter space again! The other nice thing about the apartment is that the couple that owns it painted all of the rooms. It's going to be really nice to live somewhere without sterile white apartment walls. And luckily enough the paint colors match my own preferences: light browns in the main living areas with navy blue accent walls in the bedrooms and burgundy accent walls in the living and dining room, a chocolate brown kitchen and a sea green bathroom. Being on the third floor should also be relatively quiet since we'll have no upstairs neighbors, and the mailroom and laundry room are all enclosed in the building, which is awesome. No more trekking across the apartment complex in the snow or rain to do laundry!
So the condo itself seems nice. At least it will be visually nice, if nothing else! And locationwise it's great as well. It's on the street that runs behind Penn's big office building, so it will take him fifteen minutes to walk to and from work. And since the subway station is right on the other side of his office building, it will take me only twenty minutes to walk to the metro. I could consider the 40 minute roundtrip walk my exercise everyday. I'll have a pretty long commute to school, but at least I'll be able to read on the subway so I don't think I'll mind too much, especially since I generally only go to campus 3 times a week. And if I feel like driving I should be able to get to campus in about 30 minutes if traffic cooperates, which is only ten minutes longer than it takes me now. I like the idea of being able to take the train, though. The amount of money I would normally spend on a yearly campus parking sticker should be almost enough to get me through a year of commuting on the subway (seriously, isn't that ridiculous?), and it will be nice to at least have the option of not continuing to rack up the miles on my old car. The other nice thing about this condo is that a shopping center with a grocery store and a drug store is right behind the complex, so in theory we won't even have to use our cars to run errands very often. We can almost be car-free now! I've wanted that to be the case ever since I moved up here and it was never actually feasible before, but it will be now. Oh, and do you want to know Penn's favorite part of the new apartment? Right next to the grocery store there is a place called "Buffalo Wings and Beer." It pretty much seems like paradise, in other words.
Obviously, the apartment hunting has gotten me very excited about the idea of moving in with Penn. I mean, I was excited about it anyway, but actually looking at places and envisioning myself living there has made me even more eager than I already was. I almost don't want to post this blog tonight because I feel like I'll be jinxing our chances on the condo, but I'd be happy with our second-choice place as well (which is really big, quiet, still fairly close to the metro, and has the benefit of being right next to a huge park). Anyway, in the past two weeks the plan has changed a lot. The original plan was for Penn to move into the new apartment at the end of this month but for me to continue to stay in my current place until my lease is up in summer. But then the more we thought about it and the more we talked about it, the more that started to seem like a dumb idea. I admitted to myself that even with my own apartment it's very unlikely that Penn and I will willingly spend many nights apart. He'll be here or I'll be there, but either way we'll be throwing tons of money away on an apartment that will be empty at least half the time. When we started talking about how much money we can save in the next year if I move into his place sooner rather than later, it began eating at the frugal side of me to think about all the money we'll waste waiting until my lease is up. And then when I found out that I can break my lease without consequence if I pay a month and a half's worth of rent and give thirty day's notice, we did the math on that and realized that if I move out before the end of the year we'll recoup the lease-breaking fine within a few months and still have almost six months worth of savings. And THEN one of my friends mentioned that she might be willing to take over my lease, in which case we'd be able to save even more money because then I could get out of my lease without losing any money at all.
So basically, we've decided that we'll be shacking up by January. If I have to break my lease to make that happen I'll be moving out of here over Thanksgiving break. If my friend is taking over, I'll be moving to the new apartment over Christmas break. And as much as I try to be logical about this and make attempts to talk myself out of it, I just can't stop feeling anything but excitement.
The reasonable side of me recognizes the fact that many perfectly sane people would find it a little crazy to start cohabitating after only being together for 8 or 9 months. I've always had fairly firm ideas about timelines for things like this, and I guess I never thought I'd be living with a boyfriend after less than a year of dating. But in my Personal Guide to Acceptable Timetables, I always thought I'd be willing to move in with the right guy after a year, so what difference does three months really make? Things just feel right with Penn. My other personal rule was that I was never going to move in with a guy just for financial convenience but only when I saw it as a relationship that was almost definitely moving towards marriage. And, okay, yes, a little bit of this is for financial convenience. But the difference is it's not for my financial convenience, it's for OURS. Ours as a couple. Penn and I have talked about the future enough that I feel confident that we're on the same page and he sees this as starting a home together, not just shacking up because we're sleeping together every night anyway.
I know things could still go very wrong. True, it has been awhile since I worried about this relationship potentially blowing up in my face. In fact, I've never felt this sort of confidence in a relationship before. But I realize that a person can feel completely confident and still have something go wrong. I realize that we're taking a risk by signing a lease together and assuming that the way we feel right now is going to last forever. But at some point you just have to take a deep breath and take the plunge. Otherwise noone would ever commit to anything.
The very worst thing that could possibly happen is that we live together for six months or a year and realize that this relationship isn't going to work after all, that everything we've been feeling since spring is just an illusion. And that would suck, of course. It would be miserable. But I'd move out and go back to my single life and I would survive. I've survived a bad breakup before, I could do it again.
But I'm not actually worried about that. I feel very good about this decision. I've been living completely alone for three years. I've learned a lot about myself in that time, and even though I wasn't always thrilled with being single, in retrospect I realize that I'm very grateful to have had those three years. Many people never live on their own at all, going straight from living with parents to living with roommates to living with a significant other. Well, I can tell you with certainty that those people miss out on a lot. They miss out on some frustration, that's true, but they also miss out on a great experience to have exactly what they want when they want with no regard for anyone else. There is no other time in your life when that can happen, and I feel a little sorry for people that never get to experience the joys I've experienced in living alone. There's a tiny part of me-a teeny, tiny part-that is a little sad to be giving up my independent living situation. But it's not because I'm worried or sad about the next step. No, not at all. It's akin to the feeling I had when I moved away from my hometown for the first time, or graduated from college. I'm excited as can be about the next step, eager to see where my life will go from here. But it's the end of an era, so it's hard not to feel a little nostalgic.
Anyway, keep your fingers crossed that our application gets approved. Like I said, I'd be happy in apartment #2 as well, and if we don't get the condo I'm just going to have to assume it's the universe once again doing what's best for us. But I'm going to be really disappointed if I don't get to use that awesome kitchen!
Luckily, everything went forward as planned with the new job and Penn finally signed the contract a few days ago and starts two weeks from Monday. I'm so excited for him, and a little bit nervous. I really want this job to go well for him, it's such a good opportunity. b,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, m
[That's from the hound dog, he just climbed onto my lap and slammed his chin onto the laptop]
We also found an apartment that I think (I hope) is going to work out really well for us. We do have a second option already secured as well if our first choice doesn't work out, but this first-choice place has so much going for it that I really, really hope we get approved. First of all, it's insanely affordable for this area of the country. Basically, this place is only about $100 a month more than what I'm paying on my own right now, and so with Penn and I splitting the cost it's going to save me money (and save us a lot of money as a couple). And the place is really nice, too. We got lucky. It's actually a condo belonging to a couple that is on assignment in Japan for the next two years. It was originally renting for a price outside of our price range, but the realtor we went out with last week must have liked us because she convinced the couple to rent the place to us for $300 less than the original asking price AND to include all utilities except cable. The downside to the condo is that I'll be losing access to my little lake, and the new neighborhood is closer to the center of the city so it's a little bit louder. But I'm hoping those will be the only downsides. Everything else seems nicer. The condo itself is really nice. It's on the third floor with a big balcony, it has two bedrooms so we can use one as an office, it has a living room and a separate dining area so I can finally live in an apartment with space for a dining table (I haven't had one for three years now!), and it has such a nice kitchen: granite countertops, a breakfast bar that opens onto the living and dining rooms, slate flooring, stainless steel appliances, tons and tons of storage space. I opened what I thought was the pantry and it's actually a big wine refrigerator! (Which Penn will probably insist on using for fancy beer...and there is an actual pantry, too) When I was showing Penn the place on Friday I told him that the kitchen is my favorite part because it feels so grown-up. I don't know why at almost 26 years old I still think of things as too "adult" for me, but this kitchen is definitely one of those things. I love it, though, I can definitely see myself using it. I'll have counter space again! The other nice thing about the apartment is that the couple that owns it painted all of the rooms. It's going to be really nice to live somewhere without sterile white apartment walls. And luckily enough the paint colors match my own preferences: light browns in the main living areas with navy blue accent walls in the bedrooms and burgundy accent walls in the living and dining room, a chocolate brown kitchen and a sea green bathroom. Being on the third floor should also be relatively quiet since we'll have no upstairs neighbors, and the mailroom and laundry room are all enclosed in the building, which is awesome. No more trekking across the apartment complex in the snow or rain to do laundry!
So the condo itself seems nice. At least it will be visually nice, if nothing else! And locationwise it's great as well. It's on the street that runs behind Penn's big office building, so it will take him fifteen minutes to walk to and from work. And since the subway station is right on the other side of his office building, it will take me only twenty minutes to walk to the metro. I could consider the 40 minute roundtrip walk my exercise everyday. I'll have a pretty long commute to school, but at least I'll be able to read on the subway so I don't think I'll mind too much, especially since I generally only go to campus 3 times a week. And if I feel like driving I should be able to get to campus in about 30 minutes if traffic cooperates, which is only ten minutes longer than it takes me now. I like the idea of being able to take the train, though. The amount of money I would normally spend on a yearly campus parking sticker should be almost enough to get me through a year of commuting on the subway (seriously, isn't that ridiculous?), and it will be nice to at least have the option of not continuing to rack up the miles on my old car. The other nice thing about this condo is that a shopping center with a grocery store and a drug store is right behind the complex, so in theory we won't even have to use our cars to run errands very often. We can almost be car-free now! I've wanted that to be the case ever since I moved up here and it was never actually feasible before, but it will be now. Oh, and do you want to know Penn's favorite part of the new apartment? Right next to the grocery store there is a place called "Buffalo Wings and Beer." It pretty much seems like paradise, in other words.
Obviously, the apartment hunting has gotten me very excited about the idea of moving in with Penn. I mean, I was excited about it anyway, but actually looking at places and envisioning myself living there has made me even more eager than I already was. I almost don't want to post this blog tonight because I feel like I'll be jinxing our chances on the condo, but I'd be happy with our second-choice place as well (which is really big, quiet, still fairly close to the metro, and has the benefit of being right next to a huge park). Anyway, in the past two weeks the plan has changed a lot. The original plan was for Penn to move into the new apartment at the end of this month but for me to continue to stay in my current place until my lease is up in summer. But then the more we thought about it and the more we talked about it, the more that started to seem like a dumb idea. I admitted to myself that even with my own apartment it's very unlikely that Penn and I will willingly spend many nights apart. He'll be here or I'll be there, but either way we'll be throwing tons of money away on an apartment that will be empty at least half the time. When we started talking about how much money we can save in the next year if I move into his place sooner rather than later, it began eating at the frugal side of me to think about all the money we'll waste waiting until my lease is up. And then when I found out that I can break my lease without consequence if I pay a month and a half's worth of rent and give thirty day's notice, we did the math on that and realized that if I move out before the end of the year we'll recoup the lease-breaking fine within a few months and still have almost six months worth of savings. And THEN one of my friends mentioned that she might be willing to take over my lease, in which case we'd be able to save even more money because then I could get out of my lease without losing any money at all.
So basically, we've decided that we'll be shacking up by January. If I have to break my lease to make that happen I'll be moving out of here over Thanksgiving break. If my friend is taking over, I'll be moving to the new apartment over Christmas break. And as much as I try to be logical about this and make attempts to talk myself out of it, I just can't stop feeling anything but excitement.
The reasonable side of me recognizes the fact that many perfectly sane people would find it a little crazy to start cohabitating after only being together for 8 or 9 months. I've always had fairly firm ideas about timelines for things like this, and I guess I never thought I'd be living with a boyfriend after less than a year of dating. But in my Personal Guide to Acceptable Timetables, I always thought I'd be willing to move in with the right guy after a year, so what difference does three months really make? Things just feel right with Penn. My other personal rule was that I was never going to move in with a guy just for financial convenience but only when I saw it as a relationship that was almost definitely moving towards marriage. And, okay, yes, a little bit of this is for financial convenience. But the difference is it's not for my financial convenience, it's for OURS. Ours as a couple. Penn and I have talked about the future enough that I feel confident that we're on the same page and he sees this as starting a home together, not just shacking up because we're sleeping together every night anyway.
I know things could still go very wrong. True, it has been awhile since I worried about this relationship potentially blowing up in my face. In fact, I've never felt this sort of confidence in a relationship before. But I realize that a person can feel completely confident and still have something go wrong. I realize that we're taking a risk by signing a lease together and assuming that the way we feel right now is going to last forever. But at some point you just have to take a deep breath and take the plunge. Otherwise noone would ever commit to anything.
The very worst thing that could possibly happen is that we live together for six months or a year and realize that this relationship isn't going to work after all, that everything we've been feeling since spring is just an illusion. And that would suck, of course. It would be miserable. But I'd move out and go back to my single life and I would survive. I've survived a bad breakup before, I could do it again.
But I'm not actually worried about that. I feel very good about this decision. I've been living completely alone for three years. I've learned a lot about myself in that time, and even though I wasn't always thrilled with being single, in retrospect I realize that I'm very grateful to have had those three years. Many people never live on their own at all, going straight from living with parents to living with roommates to living with a significant other. Well, I can tell you with certainty that those people miss out on a lot. They miss out on some frustration, that's true, but they also miss out on a great experience to have exactly what they want when they want with no regard for anyone else. There is no other time in your life when that can happen, and I feel a little sorry for people that never get to experience the joys I've experienced in living alone. There's a tiny part of me-a teeny, tiny part-that is a little sad to be giving up my independent living situation. But it's not because I'm worried or sad about the next step. No, not at all. It's akin to the feeling I had when I moved away from my hometown for the first time, or graduated from college. I'm excited as can be about the next step, eager to see where my life will go from here. But it's the end of an era, so it's hard not to feel a little nostalgic.
Anyway, keep your fingers crossed that our application gets approved. Like I said, I'd be happy in apartment #2 as well, and if we don't get the condo I'm just going to have to assume it's the universe once again doing what's best for us. But I'm going to be really disappointed if I don't get to use that awesome kitchen!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Half Baked
The other day I temporarily forgot my rule about tackling my path to the PhD one step at a time. I started thinking about how this semester is already almost halfway over (seriously, how?!) and then I started thinking about how I only have one more semester of coursework, which means I'm only one semester away from comprehensive exams and having to nail down what I'm doing for my dissertation, and then writing the dissertation and then somewhere in there I have to pass a language exam and all of a sudden this whole earn-a-PhD thing began to seem like an insane unachievable goal, and that's not even beginning to think about trying to get a job someday in the future.
Sometimes when that happens the only way I can relax again is by reminding myself that if this doesn't work out I'll always be a damn fine waitress.
I talked myself down pretty quickly, though. Like within five minutes. But I was reminded that, when it comes to school stuff, there's a reason I really don't like to think further ahead than about three weeks from now. It still just seems like way too much otherwise.
This past weekend Penn was in his hometown celebrating Oktoberfest with his guy friends and I stayed at my place so that he could have some uninterrupted guy time. It was the first weekend in a very long time that we haven't hung out together, and it felt a little weird. I like my alone time and I always will, but weekends like this one just aren't my routine anymore. It was like a return to seven months ago. I took the dog on long walks, did some baking, ate salads for dinner AND lunch without teasing commentary from my boyfriend the meatatarian, watched all those shows on TLC about couples who have too many children...I didn't think my life was boring then, and I didn't think this weekend was boring. But I have to admit that Penn makes everything better. He definitely makes life more entertaining, and it's nice to have someone to blab all my, "Hey, know what I was thinking?!" thoughts to since the cat isn't exactly responsive. Plus he makes a really good pillow. I did decide that I definitely eat better and work out more when Penn is not around, though, so I think that's something we're going to have to work on once we're living together. I refuse to be one of those women that lets her health go down the drain just because she's comfortable in a relationship. It's just hard to convince myself to get off the couch and actually put pants on when he's over here. But I can try, I suppose.
I have more to say, but my computer is almost out of power and I have to get up early to work tomorrow and look at another apartment, so I'm off. Goodnight!
Sometimes when that happens the only way I can relax again is by reminding myself that if this doesn't work out I'll always be a damn fine waitress.
I talked myself down pretty quickly, though. Like within five minutes. But I was reminded that, when it comes to school stuff, there's a reason I really don't like to think further ahead than about three weeks from now. It still just seems like way too much otherwise.
This past weekend Penn was in his hometown celebrating Oktoberfest with his guy friends and I stayed at my place so that he could have some uninterrupted guy time. It was the first weekend in a very long time that we haven't hung out together, and it felt a little weird. I like my alone time and I always will, but weekends like this one just aren't my routine anymore. It was like a return to seven months ago. I took the dog on long walks, did some baking, ate salads for dinner AND lunch without teasing commentary from my boyfriend the meatatarian, watched all those shows on TLC about couples who have too many children...I didn't think my life was boring then, and I didn't think this weekend was boring. But I have to admit that Penn makes everything better. He definitely makes life more entertaining, and it's nice to have someone to blab all my, "Hey, know what I was thinking?!" thoughts to since the cat isn't exactly responsive. Plus he makes a really good pillow. I did decide that I definitely eat better and work out more when Penn is not around, though, so I think that's something we're going to have to work on once we're living together. I refuse to be one of those women that lets her health go down the drain just because she's comfortable in a relationship. It's just hard to convince myself to get off the couch and actually put pants on when he's over here. But I can try, I suppose.
I have more to say, but my computer is almost out of power and I have to get up early to work tomorrow and look at another apartment, so I'm off. Goodnight!
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