Half Baked

The other day I temporarily forgot my rule about tackling my path to the PhD one step at a time. I started thinking about how this semester is already almost halfway over (seriously, how?!) and then I started thinking about how I only have one more semester of coursework, which means I'm only one semester away from comprehensive exams and having to nail down what I'm doing for my dissertation, and then writing the dissertation and then somewhere in there I have to pass a language exam and all of a sudden this whole earn-a-PhD thing began to seem like an insane unachievable goal, and that's not even beginning to think about trying to get a job someday in the future.
Sometimes when that happens the only way I can relax again is by reminding myself that if this doesn't work out I'll always be a damn fine waitress.
I talked myself down pretty quickly, though. Like within five minutes. But I was reminded that, when it comes to school stuff, there's a reason I really don't like to think further ahead than about three weeks from now. It still just seems like way too much otherwise.

This past weekend Penn was in his hometown celebrating Oktoberfest with his guy friends and I stayed at my place so that he could have some uninterrupted guy time. It was the first weekend in a very long time that we haven't hung out together, and it felt a little weird. I like my alone time and I always will, but weekends like this one just aren't my routine anymore. It was like a return to seven months ago. I took the dog on long walks, did some baking, ate salads for dinner AND lunch without teasing commentary from my boyfriend the meatatarian, watched all those shows on TLC about couples who have too many children...I didn't think my life was boring then, and I didn't think this weekend was boring. But I have to admit that Penn makes everything better. He definitely makes life more entertaining, and it's nice to have someone to blab all my, "Hey, know what I was thinking?!" thoughts to since the cat isn't exactly responsive. Plus he makes a really good pillow. I did decide that I definitely eat better and work out more when Penn is not around, though, so I think that's something we're going to have to work on once we're living together. I refuse to be one of those women that lets her health go down the drain just because she's comfortable in a relationship. It's just hard to convince myself to get off the couch and actually put pants on when he's over here. But I can try, I suppose.

I have more to say, but my computer is almost out of power and I have to get up early to work tomorrow and look at another apartment, so I'm off. Goodnight!