He'll Probably Have Beer Pong at His Wedding

So I'm watching Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway? right now--why I watch this show is beside the point, because I don't really have an answer to that question--and this couple has an $80,000 budget for their wedding. Eighty THOUSAND dollars! For a wedding! That is probably more money than I'll ever earn in any given year in my whole entire life. And these people are spending it for a single party. That is insane. I wouldn't serve those people alcohol. I'd like to think that even if I had eighty grand to throw away on a wedding, I wouldn't do it.

Speaking of insane...actually, this really has nothing to do with anything, I'm just aiming for a little narrative flow here. So anyway, I went to work last night and was talking to one of the cocktail waitresses, Meagan. Meagan is a nutcase. Really, she is. She's a nice person, but she's crazy. The first night I ever met her, she dropped her pants in the middle of the bar and showed everyone her thong. It was after last call and we'd already kicked most of the customers out, but still. She was drunk that night because she wasn't working and she'd just stopped by the bar to say hi (and show off her underwear, apparently) but I quickly found out that she's like that even when she's sober. She runs around with one of the other bartenders, Brittany, and the two of them are ridiculous together. They're like a blonde tornado, wreaking havoc all over town. Last week, for example, Brittany punched a guy in the face and made his nose bleed because he said something crass about Meagan. Then last night Meagan told me that she and Brittany wrecked each other's cars the night before. Meagan was pulling out of her driveway as Brittany was pulling in, and they crashed.
Right after telling me this story, Meagan said, "Ooh, *A*, you should go out with us! We'd have fun!" Jay, one of the other bartenders, yelled out, "NO. Don't do it!" And I said, "Yeah, I'm a little afraid I might die if I go out with you two." But I also have a feeling that going out with them would be like a night of bar hopping with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton only on a smaller budget, and I kind of don't want to miss that opportunity. I'm sure I'd get a few good stories out of it, if I didn't get arrested. Or die.

To wrap up this completely disjointed entry, I leave you with a few quotes from my little brother, who spouts an endless supply of ridiculous things day in and day out. It's one of the things I like best about him.

Bro: I really like that "Umbrella" song. I hate to admit it, but it grew on me.
Me: Ugh, not me. And what's with the ballet dancing in the video?
Bro: That's because apparently she really is a good, uh...balletist.
Me: Balletist?
Bro: Is that not the word? It's not, is it? Oh, ballerina!

Bro: How's my form?
Me: [Looking up from a magazine, puzzled] Your what?
Bro: My form. [Pantomimes tossing a ping pong ball during beer pong] See, you place your feet about shoulder width apart, pivot your body a little to the side, aim for the back of the cup, the BACK of the cup, and you hold your arm at a ninety degree angle-
Me: That's not a ninety degree angle.
Bro: A sixty degree angle-
Me: I don't think that's a sixty degree angle, either.
Bro: What angle is it? I need to know, I could write a book on this!
Me: Please get out of here.

P.S.-Now on Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway? this couple has a hundred thousand dollar budget! Where are the people that have this kind of money?!