Blargh

AKA Randomly Spitting Out Some Thoughts That Are In My Head At 12:22 On A Wednesday Night:

-I'm sorry to write about this twice in a row, but I just can't seem to help myself: The really amazing thing about that Umbrella song by Rihanna--and by "amazing" I mean horrible--is that she somehow manages to make "umbrella" a four syllable word. Um-ber-el-la. Amazing.

-Tonight I was at dinner with my parents and my brother, and after about five minutes of conversation in which my parents and I were participating and my brother was just staring blankly at a TV screen above the bar, he burst out with "You know, I just realized I never want to talk about anything but sports, because this conversation is horribly boring to me." No wonder the poor guy never gets any pussy.

-You know how every time your ex dates someone new, you secretly think that they're not as good as you? Admit it, you think this, even if you're the one that broke up with your ex and you're not actually interested in him anymore. Well, last year my ex dated this girl that I assumed was kind of crazy. This was probably an unfair assumption, but because he left me for her, I spent a lot of time wondering why he was dating a crazy girl when he could be dating me. And then I ended up talking to her, and it turned out that she was actually okay and we realized that he fucked us both over so we had a lot in common, and blah, blah, blah. That's old news now and I actually hadn't thought about his ex in a really long time. But the other night I was serving drinks to a couple of other local bartenders, one of whom works at the same bar where my ex's crazy girlfriend used to work. When he told me where he worked, I was like, "Oh, did you know J?" and the very first words out of his mouth were, "Oh, Bitchy J?" and the guy sitting beside him said, "You mean Crazy J?" And they said these things not knowing where I was even going with the question. For all they knew I was her good friend, but that was their impression of her and it was strong enough that they couldn't help spilling it to me. So that was some nice validation. Too bad it came a year and a half too late to really matter. A year ago I would have been thrilled to find out that other people thought she was crazy, too. Now it's just another opinion about someone that's probably not any more or less crazy than the rest of the world.

-Speaking of relationships, I am getting really tired of guys at the bar asking why I don't have a boyfriend. I realize people mostly intend this in a flattering way, i.e. "You're fun and interesting and attractive, why are you not taken?" But I find it annoying because it's a cliche line that is usually followed up by "All the other men are stupid for not appreciating you, any man would be lucky to have you." I guess that this is guys' attempt to find out if I'd be willing to date them, since I doubt it's a way of politely boosting my self esteem as I pour them Budweiser. Do guys not realize that EVERY GUY IN THE WORLD says this to single girls? Does every person that says this to me honestly believe that it's the first time I've heard it? Plus there's no way to answer that question. I'm always tempted to melodramatically shout , "I don't know why I'm not in a relationship!! Why don't you tell me what's wrong with me?! Please, PLEASE, someone tell me what's wrong with me?!?! I need a man, I am desperate!" and then burst into tears. I'd love to see what kind of reaction that would get.

-On Monday night there was a guy who sat at the bar for about an hour. He had a couple of beers, and since it was slow I spent quite a while talking to him. We made fun of music videos, talked about how annoying it is that this city is in the middle of fucking nowhere, etc. It wasn't much, but when he left I thought to myself, "I hope he comes back," and then I realized that he is the first attractive, interesting person I have met this summer. Knowing my luck, I'll never see him again.

-One of the bar regulars asked me today if I want to go to the Ansel Adams exhibit with him. I actually would like to go to the Ansel Adams exhibit, and the guy that asked me to go is a nice guy who would appreciate the whole thing probably even more than I would. He's a lush, sure, but he's a good guy. The problem is that it would require a daytrip to a nearby city, and I don't really think I want to be stuck in a car for an hour with this guy just in case things get weird. I also don't want to give him the false impression that I'm interested in anything other than photography. I actually think he's possibly gay (waaaaaaay in the closet, so far he doesn't even know he's in the closet, but gay) and if he's not gay then he's in love with one of the other female bartenders. So I really think he did invite me just because he knows I'd like it. But I don't want things to be awkward, so I don't know if I'll actually go.

-Do you watch Big Love? If you don't, you should. It's very good.

-Do you think any of the people from My Super Sweet Sixteen or Engaged and Underage grow up to be normal?

-41 days until I'm in University Land!