First Day Jitters

Tomorrow is my first day of work, and I'm trying to talk myself down from the ledge, so to speak. I'm really nervous. I have a whole series of meetings this week. Tomorrow is a meeting with all of the TAs that share my specific job. There are six of us leading discussion groups for the same intro class, and tomorrow we're meeting with the lecturer to discuss the syllabus and divy up the discussion sections, I guess (I've looked at the syllabus and for the big lecture there's a 9:00 class and an 11:00 class, how much do you want to bet I get stuck with the 9:00?). I don't have anything scheduled for Tuesday or Wednesday so far, but then Thursday is a long day of meetings with various people in the department (department chairs, Ph.D. and MA faculty, etc.). Friday I meet with my temporary advisor to decide which coures to take. Then Monday is the world's longest new TA orientation (8:30 AM to 4:30 PM, how much do you want to bet all but an hour of it will be useless and repetitive information?).
I don't know exactly why I'm so nervous. I think a lot of it has to do with making a good first impression. The main thing I'm afraid of is everyone asking me what my focus is, because I don't really know the answer to that question. I have had some reassurance from talking to Mari, who assured me that at this time last year she didn't know what her focus was going to be, either. She did, however, advise me to make something up because apparently I'm right in thinking the question will come up a lot. I'm fully aware of how important my first semester ended up being in setting me up for success in my masters program, so I'm very concerned about impressing the professors and my fellow students right out of the gate here. Or if not impressing them, at least keeping up. And therein lies the problem: I already feel like I'm so far behind.
I don't have a research agenda AT ALL yet, and I'm afraid that everyone else already will. I made the mistake of clicking on a link on the department's website today that said "Graduate Students" (Why? Why did I do this?!) and I read everyone's bios and they all sound so impressive: multiple conference presentations, published papers, work at important companies, years of professional experience. I keep thinking about what my profile will look like. It will be something like, "Um, hi. I've pretty much just been a student for the past six years--perhaps something of an exceptional one, if I try to flatter myself--but still, just a student. I have only ever been to three conferences in my life and I only presented my own work at one of those conferences. Oh, I did have a paper chosen as an alternate for a conference once, but that doesn't really count, does it? I haven't had anything published. Sure, I've won awards and scholarships, but again, that's just school stuff and does that even matter in the real world? Yeah, I didn't think so."
I'm not knocking my accomplishments. I am very proud of the work I have done in my life so far. I also keep trying to remind myself that I am a young graduate student and that some of these people have more impressive resumes simply because they are ten years older than I am. But at the same time I can't help feeling that I'm not going to measure up against the rest of the scholars in this department.
I know that the faculty chose me specifically. I also know that because I got into another nationally recognized program as well as this one, it is not just a fluke. They gave me a nice financial package, they made it clear that I was one of their top choices and not a backup option. Even though my CV is not as impressive as I would like it to be, the faculty here obviously saw past the lack of conference presentations and published articles and can see some sort of potential that I don't recognize in myself. I also know from lurking on other academic's blogs that these feelings of inadequacy are completely par for the course and even the most self-assured people have at one point felt the same "What am I doing here?" feelings that I am having right now. In my head I know all of that. In my heart I can't stop feeling scared that I will disappoint everyone.

I'm going to try to go in as strong as possible, though. I am already feeling good vibes from this place. I feel like I am where I'm supposed to be right now, at least in terms of location. I'm off to a good start. I already made a favorable first impression on one student in the department, so I am going to assume that other people will like me as well. I am going to make up something to say when people ask me about my research so that I don't just sit at the table like a bumbling idiot when it's my turn to talk about myself. I am going to be proud of my accomplishments thus far and assume that because everyone else thinks I can handle this next step, I actually CAN.

I'll let you know how it goes, of course.