Monday, June 22, 2009

As Real as Anyone Else

Last night Penn and I were watching George Clooney movies on TBS and an ad came on for a TV show called More to Love. Apparently it's The Bachelor for plus-sized women. There are so many things wrong with the premise of this show (not the least of which is why, for the love of god, don't these dating shows just go away?!), but the thing that really ticked me off was the fact that this show is being advertised as the dating show for "real" women.

That got me thinking about other things. Things like the movie title Real Women Have Curves and all of the magazines with cover lines that say things like, "Real bathing suits for real bodies!" or "Real Women Aren't a Size 2!" I call bullshit.

Here's the thing: I am all for anything that implies that women should love our bodies and accept ourselves. I am all for the media stating that women come in all shapes and sizes, because that's true. But I do not think it is okay to suggest that obesity is okay, because it isn't. It's NOT healthy. Somehow our society has to find a way to encourage individuality and the embracing of one's genetic body type without at the same time implying that it's okay to eat unhealthily and sit on your ass all day and "love" your size 22 body when you are perfectly capable of eating healthily and working out and getting into a healthy weight range so that the overtaxed healthcare system doesn't have to deal with your self-induced diabetes and cholesterol problems. That sounds harsh, but it's true. I understand the effects of genetics and emotional baggage and everything else that causes some people to hold on to more weight than others. I get that it is not a level playing field and that some people really have to struggle with maintaining a healthy weight. I get it, I really do. But I have no patience with people who won't at least try to be healthy, and it worries me when the media says, "Embrace your body!" while leaving health out of the equation entirely. Why can't the mantra be, "Be as good to your body as you can, get healthy, and THEN embrace that body"? You should never hate your body, EVER. That's not what I'm saying. But we all need to learn to look at our bodies and say, "I love myself, but I need to change this body because I love myself, because I want to be healthy and have a long life." For some women that healthy body may be statuesque, and that's fine. That's beautiful, and wonderful, and it takes me back to the point that even in a room full of healthy-weight people there is still a vast variety of shapes and sizes.

I admit that the "embrace your body" thing is better than the alternative. I think overall things are trending in a better direction. Anything that allows society to see that a variety of bodies are beautiful is a good thing. I just think the media needs to spend more time talking about how important it is to be healthy. Even TV shows like The Biggest Loser or other shows of that ilk on TLC or Discovery Health that purport to be teaching a healthy life style are still attempting to inspire participants by telling them how attractive their body will be when it is thin. And that's not the point. The goal is not a "perfect" body, the goal is a healthy one.

My point is that women should embrace their body at any size, provided that body is healthy. I am so sick of hearing about how "real" women are a size 12 or "real" women have curvacious bodies or "real" women have bootys and bellies and boobs. I'm 5'7" tall and I wear a size 4 or 6. I have A cup boobs and basically no hips. I'm not what you would call curvacious. In fact, I have a boyish figure. But the last time I checked I was just as real as my friends who are size 12 or 18.

I get it, I really do. Despite this rant, my body type is still the one that is privileged by our society. It's still easier to be a size 6 than a size 16 in this country. By complaining about this, some people might suggest I'm as bad as rich white men that complain about reverse discrimination. I GET IT. But don't tell me I'm not real. Isn't it about time we stopped letting ourselves be divided into categories based on our looks? I am a real woman. Every woman is a real woman. End of story.

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