Usually I like to believe in karma and the power of thought. However, as a potential future professor, I'm kind of hoping that the power of thought is actually NOT that powerful, because can you imagine how many students go to bed every night hoping that their professor will have some trauma the next day and class will magically be cancelled? Probably a lot.
Speaking of professing, I have a confession to make: I definitely have favorite students. I have a feeling that this is true of all teachers, no matter how much they try to hide it. And I do try to hide it, of course, or at least I am very conscious of it so that it doesn't affect my grading (hopefully). But I'm also going to admit that yes, I have favorites.
The interesting thing to me, though, is that my favoritism actually has nothing to do with the students' grades or abilities. This surprised me, since as a student I always assumed that teachers prefered their "A" students. I'm finding that--for myself, at least--that's not necessarily the case. Oh, sure, I like the students who willingly participate in discussion without having to be prompted, and I like the students who show a good amount of dedication and enthusiasm and who turn in neat, high-quality work. Who wouldn't like those kinds of students? In general, I prefer these students to the ones that stroll in ten minutes late, turn in crumpled, half-finished assignments (if they turn in anything at all), and constantly send me e-mails that begin with, "Sorry I wasn't in class on Monday but..." and then expect me to help them because apparently life is Out to Get Them and I should be sympathetic.
But in general, the students I like the best surprise me.
My favorite kid in one class is a devoutly religious guy who rides a motorcycle and is always the first to point out when I might be wrong about something. But it doesn't feel like he's out to get me, he is just honestly concerned that he's seeing the full picture from every possible angle, and I love that. My favorite kid in the other class is an Asian guy who always wears a suit (maybe he's graduating soon and has been going on a lot of job interviews?) and majors in a subject that is the complete opposite of the one I teach, which means that he is often baffled by what I would consider the most basic things and yet he has a great sense of humor and is making an "A" because he works really hard.
I also like the shy girl who never speaks in class but is clearly interested and turns in great work, two frat-tastic guys that sit together in both discussion and lecture and appear to be inseparable, the guy who slept through his alarm and missed the first test and has now figured out exactly how many extra credit points he needs to earn to still get a "B", the girl who always smiles encouragingly when I'm lecturing and seems to need similar reassurance that she's doing okay each week, the guy from a foreign country who will only call me "Professor LastName" even though I've told him half a dozen times that he can call me by my first name, and the list goes on. In most cases, these are not my best students. But for whatever reason, they are the ones that stood out to me, the ones whose names I learned first, and the ones that I feel most invested in. When I grade their papers, I'm excited for them when they do well and I'm bummed for them when they miss an easy question or forget something that I know they understood last week. I care about all of my students' success, to a certain extent (maybe too much, to be honest), but these are the students that make me realize that if I wasn't very conscious of it, it would be all too easy to give the 2 or 3 point benefit of the doubt.
Fair grading and fair treatment is very important to me, and this job has definitely taught me that fair grading practices are not as cut-and-dry as I feel like they should be, and I wonder in retrospect how many of my professors and teachers saw the gray area that obviously exists in grading and just let themselves dally in it instead of acknowledging that no, everyone really must be treated the same whether you like them or not.
I have a feeling that as the years go by, this issue will always be there for me. And I wish more people were willing to talk about it, because I know that I'm not the only one playing favorites in my head and having to make sure I don't do it on paper or in the classroom.
What else should I tell you about while I'm wasting time?
Did you know that yesterday was my two-month anniversary? I've been living here for two months now. Which is weird, because I feel like I have already been living here for years. And it's not like I normally feel, where I simultaneously feel like I have been living somewhere for years but was just moving in yesterday. No. I feel like I have been living here for YEARS. Oh, except when I have to look up directions to the post office on Google maps. Then I remember that I more or less just moved here. But generally, I feel completely comfortable and like everything that his happening right now has always been my routine. Which is bizarre. But good, I think.
I have been watching Dancing With the Stars this season (my mom talked me into it because apparently she needs yet another cheesy reality TV gameshow to watch because American Idol and The Bachelor are not enough for one year) and I don't get it. Why does the results show have to last an hour? Why do we have to watch Seal and Billy Ray Cyrus perform? What happens once there are only a few couples left? Is the show still an hour long each day? What sorts of crazy segments do they start putting on to fill time as the season progresses? I realize that this show has already existed for years so most people already know the answers to these questions, but I find the whole show baffling. And yet I'm still watching it. It could be weirder, though. One time I was at Maddi's house and her mom was watching a Mexican version of Dancing With the Stars (actually, maybe there weren't any C-list celebrities, it was kind of hard for me to figure out what exactly was going on) and on that version, couples dance against each other and whoever wins gets a fancy wedding as a prize. I think. My Spanish is pretty rusty right now. That seemed to be the point, anyway. And Maddi's mom told me the show is on for like, three or four hours at a time. Awesome.
Know what else is awesome? My dog's Halloween costumes came in the mail today! Yes, I dress my dog up for Halloween. He also wears Christmas sweaters when it gets cold and he has a shirt and visor featuring my new university's mascot and he has a bandana collection and shut up, he likes outfits, okay?! I found two really goofy costumes but couldn't decide which one to get, so I ordered both figuring that he can wear one this year and the other one next year. So he's either going to be Dogzilla or a lobster, depending on what the weather is like. The Dogzilla costume is really cute, but he also has to put all four of his legs into it and it wraps him up completely so I think he'd pass out if it was even remotely warm outside. But he'd make a hilarious lobster, too, so we'll see what the weather is like on the day of his costume party. Yes, we're going to a dog Halloween party with his "girlfriend." And yes, he has a girlfriend. Or at leat a friend who is a girl. Here's a really cute picture of them drinking water together at the dog park on Sunday. I figure this is the dog version of a milkshake with two straws:
On that note, I'm out of here. I have to walk that fool dog before it gets dark.
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