More Found Fun, This Time From My Desk Drawer

One day in the last week of our junior year of high school, my friend Mel and I hid out in a corner one afternoon (when I was technically supposed to be helping everyone else to do pre-summer cleaning in my classroom and she was supposed to be in some other class entirely, I believe) and made a list of the qualities we wanted in a boyfriend.
I no longer remember what prompted us to make this list; I know at the time I was beginning to date a guy that Mel disliked, so in retrospect maybe the list was partially her way of trying to convince me that I could do better. Although I still maintain to this day that he was an interesting guy and we had a fun summer together. Anyway.
Somehow I acquired custody of the list, and for a few years I kept it folded up in my wallet along with some other sentimental things. At some point during college I decided it was a dumb idea to keep sentimental things in my wallet since wallets are so likely to get lost or stolen, so I moved this particular list into my desk drawer, where it sat under pens and tape and staplers until I rediscovered it today.

I haven't thought about this list in years. As soon as I realized what it was, I got excited to read it, sure that I would laugh at what 17-year-old Mel and I thought would make a good boyfriend. But you know what? It didn't really make me laugh much at all. Instead, I was surprised at how smart Mel and I were, how much we were demanding (in a good way), and how confident we were even then that we would be able to find a great guy and not have to settle for something less than what we thought we deserved.
Reading our list today, I think that the only really important thing we forgot to list was something about honesty and faithfulness. But I like to think part of that is simply the naivety of two teenagers who had yet to be in serious relationships. We were too young to realize exactly how many relationships end because people can't be honest with one another. After all, shouldn't it go without saying that the man you love is going to be honest with you? I'm sure I thought so at 17, anyway.

Here is the complete list, exactly as we wrote it in high school.

Mel Lastname and *A* Lastname's Guy Standards
(In Random Order)

1) Sense of humor-must be at least one of the following:
-Able to make jokes
-Able to laugh at jokes
-Able to laugh at me w/o being mean
-Able to be laughed at w/o getting offended
2) Compassion/supportiveness
3) Vertebrae (preferably an entire spinal cord) [I feel that that needs a bit of an explanation. Mel and I spent a lot of time in high school talking about which guys we felt had a spinal cord and which guys didn't. It's hard to articulate now exactly what we meant by that, but basically it's a combination of courage, dignity, standing up for your beliefs in the face of adversity...you know, having a backbone!]
4) Self confidence (but not egotistical)
5) Intelligence (Duh!)
6) Creativity/Spontaneity
7) Romantic (not overly, but must be sweet)
8) Chivalrous-must offer to
-Carry books
-Open doors
-Carry backpack
-Carry me
But must understand if I say "No, thanks"
9) Ability to carry on interesting/intelligent conversation
10)Physically attractive
-Taller than me
-Nice eyes
-Smiles often
-Buff, but no viking warriors, please

Bonus Points
1) Nice car (more points awarded for letting me drive) [We showed this list to our physics teacher, for whatever reason, and he crossed out "car" and wrote "diesel truck"]
2) Nice hair
3) Likes chick flicks (or at least will sit through them) [Our physics teacher crossed this one off the list, even though we pointed out that these are not necessities, just bonuses]
4) Is nice to my siblings
5) Is nice to my friends
6) Brings flowers at least one for no reason
7) Understands need for girl time, like I understand need for guy time
8) Good kisser (Oh yeah!)
9) Likes kids and small animals (but not to shoot and no pedophiles, please)
10)Cuddly (ahhh, sigh)

That same physics teacher who made the comments on the list used to regularly tell me and Mel and his other favorite female students that we were "too much" for the high school guys. Years later, I still think I'm too much for many of the guys I meet. Too driven, too emotional, too busy, too independent, too smart, too demanding, too picky. I can be a very difficult person to date, and I realize that. But you know what? I'm proud of that. I would rather be too strong and difficult than not strong and difficult enough.
I knew what I wanted at 17, and I was positive I would eventually find someone who wouldn't let me be "too much" for him. I like that 17-year-old me. She knew what she was talking about.