I'm so glad I have friends to wedding plan with. The timing of my engagement was serendipitous, actually. My friend Jen got engaged in July (you may remember I was at the proposal!) and is getting married in August. Then Nicole got engaged in October and is planning a wedding for this upcoming October. And then Penn and I got engaged in November and are planning a wedding for January. It's really fun having them both as my "engagement buddies." Jen lives on the opposite coast (boo!) but she is several months ahead of me in the whole planning process so whenever she calls me I grill her about how her planning is going so I can figure out what is coming up soon for me. And having Nic right here is great because we can share tips on where to get good discounts on vendors in town and on the web and I can drag her to things like the bridal expo.
Nic and I have even started thinking about doing some of our pre-wedding events together. We have a bunch of mutual friends who will be invited to both weddings so we're thinking of doing a joint bachelorette party for all of our friends here, for instance. I think it's awesome having a good friend who is engaged at the same time I am and cool that we're doing some of our planning together, but it seems to be confusing other people. At the expo today we kept walking up to booths and inevitably the vendor would say, "Who is the bride-to-be?!" and one of us would say, "We both are," and the vendor skeptically would say, "Really? Both of you?" I think they thought one of us was probably lying. I guess most brides don't like hanging out with other brides? I mean, is it that rare for two people in the same social circle to be engaged at the same time? Maybe it is, but in our case it just worked out that way. And we have just the right degree of friendship, too. If we weren't very close then we wouldn't be doing any planning together in the first place, and if we were extra-super-close I think maybe I would have hinted to Penn not to propose so close after she got engaged (for instance, had my sister gotten engaged before I did I think I would have felt obligated to wait a while before getting engaged myself so as not to steal her thunder). But as it is, it worked out perfectly. We get to share the fun and frustrations of the Bride-to-Be title but I don't feel like she's in any way stealing my spotlight (and I am pretty positive she doesn't feel like I'm stealing hers).
I suppose I can see people thinking it's strange that we're considering doing a joint bachelorette party or maybe even a joint bridal shower (should someone in our department suggest throwing a casual one, which seems possible considering how often they like to have baby showers), but I don't mind sharing the limelight at events like that and its just easier with our overlapping guest lists. And there are still plenty of things that will be separate: the weddings themselves, for one, since their wedding is two and a half months before ours and halfway across the country and the styles we're trying to create are pretty different. And I'm hoping to do a different bachelorette get-together with my wedding party and my closest friends from out of town just before the wedding, anyway. I was thinking of going low-key for that (something more like lunch and spa treatments as opposed to shots and giant slices of street pizza) so it might be fun to do something a bit more rowdy with Nic and our local girlfriends (and friends near enough to drive into town for the night) well before either of our weddings.
Nic and I have even started thinking about doing some of our pre-wedding events together. We have a bunch of mutual friends who will be invited to both weddings so we're thinking of doing a joint bachelorette party for all of our friends here, for instance. I think it's awesome having a good friend who is engaged at the same time I am and cool that we're doing some of our planning together, but it seems to be confusing other people. At the expo today we kept walking up to booths and inevitably the vendor would say, "Who is the bride-to-be?!" and one of us would say, "We both are," and the vendor skeptically would say, "Really? Both of you?" I think they thought one of us was probably lying. I guess most brides don't like hanging out with other brides? I mean, is it that rare for two people in the same social circle to be engaged at the same time? Maybe it is, but in our case it just worked out that way. And we have just the right degree of friendship, too. If we weren't very close then we wouldn't be doing any planning together in the first place, and if we were extra-super-close I think maybe I would have hinted to Penn not to propose so close after she got engaged (for instance, had my sister gotten engaged before I did I think I would have felt obligated to wait a while before getting engaged myself so as not to steal her thunder). But as it is, it worked out perfectly. We get to share the fun and frustrations of the Bride-to-Be title but I don't feel like she's in any way stealing my spotlight (and I am pretty positive she doesn't feel like I'm stealing hers).
I suppose I can see people thinking it's strange that we're considering doing a joint bachelorette party or maybe even a joint bridal shower (should someone in our department suggest throwing a casual one, which seems possible considering how often they like to have baby showers), but I don't mind sharing the limelight at events like that and its just easier with our overlapping guest lists. And there are still plenty of things that will be separate: the weddings themselves, for one, since their wedding is two and a half months before ours and halfway across the country and the styles we're trying to create are pretty different. And I'm hoping to do a different bachelorette get-together with my wedding party and my closest friends from out of town just before the wedding, anyway. I was thinking of going low-key for that (something more like lunch and spa treatments as opposed to shots and giant slices of street pizza) so it might be fun to do something a bit more rowdy with Nic and our local girlfriends (and friends near enough to drive into town for the night) well before either of our weddings.
So yeah, I don't think it's weird or detracting from my own "special bride" feeling to want to share some of the pre-wedding parties with Nicole. I think that takes some of the pressure off of both of us! Plus I think our friends will be grateful that they don't have to clutter their calendars with multiple events for both weddings. This just seems easier and more fun all around! And it's nice for our fiances to get together and groan about wedding stuff, too. We all get along great and I hope that they'll stay in the area and we'll remain good friends long after all this wedding party planning is behind us. I think it will be fun to look back years from now and remember 2010, when we were all planning our weddings.
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