More from the Oddball Files

Today my friends who visited a couple of weeks ago sent me this picture from their trip:

Look closely. What's wrong with this picture?....Oh, I don't know, could it be the dog sitting at the dining table in the middle of a busy outdoor cafe?!

It's no secret that I love my dog. I love my dog to the point that some people might think I'm a bit obsessed. There is a wide range of dog people. There are the people that believe that dogs should live in the backyard and as long as they get a daily meal and a walk once in a while then they're fine. There are the people like me who like their dog to be indoors, who don't mind if the dog lies on the couch, who feed the dog high quality food and talk to it as if it might possibly understand English and maybe even take it to special dog-related events. To be honest, I think this isn't so bizarre in our current culture. People tease me sometimes for being so in love with my dog, but the fact that there are dog stores and community dog fairs and restaurants with "Yappy Hour" in the first place means that I must be pretty normal, right? Obviously plenty of people are patronizing these places to allow them to exist in the first place.

Still, I don't care how much of a dog lover you are, there is a place to draw the line. And this man is someone who has crossed the fine line between Dog Lover and INSANE. We were sitting down having a drink when we saw this man walk up to the cafe pushing his little dog in a stroller. A stroller! Now, even that I can sort of maybe kind of understand if you have an old dog who can't really walk anymore. But this dog was young-looking and seemed capable of moving just fine. So the stroller was just ridiculous. Then he ordered his food at the counter and pushed his dog over to the table, where he proceded to lay out the white towel you see in the picture and place his dog on it. What you can't see clearly is that he ordered four sandwiches: one for him, one for the woman he was with, one for the kid, and one for the dog. The dog had his own sandwich! The woman sat there and tore pieces off it and fed them to the dog that was sitting at the dining table.
Why?! Why does a dog need its own seat at the dining table? I should also note that the man had a second dog that he was carrying in a shoulder bag. For some reason the shoulder bag dog wasn't allowed to sit at the table, though.

I'm trying to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just doing this to amuse the kid. Maybe it was the dog's birthday or something and the little boy suggested having a party for the dog so they pretended to treat him like a person for the day...Seriously, I'm a crazy dog person and I want to justify this, but I just can't. It was bizarre. And you should have seen how angry Penn was about it. I could practically see the veins bursting out of his forehead as he tried to control himself and not storm over to the table and confront the guy. He kept muttering, "It's. A. Dog." (P.S.-The other thing that enraged Penn that afternoon: Ultimate Frisbee. Apparently he has no patience for competitive frisbee throwing. Truth be told, that didn't surprise me. He barely tolerates baseball. In his mind it's not a real sport unless there is physical violence and preferably blood involved. This boyfriend of mine, he hasn't exactly evolved into a sensitive, 21st century guy.)

Speaking of oddballs, please explain this to me if you can:

We have a pool at our condo complex and I've been swimming laps a few times a week. Sometimes when I'm at the pool there's an older guy there, and this is what he swims in:

A purple t-shirt

Black shorts

Suspenders

Flippers

A swim mask

A snorkel

First of all, even if he was just wearing swim trunks the whole flippers/mask/snorkel ensemble would be a bit much. It's not the ocean. It's not even a lake. It's not even an Olympic size pool, it's maybe a third the size of that. Why would anyone need a snorkel and flippers for the pool? The first time I saw him I assumed it was new gear and he was testing it out, but every time he's at the pool he has all the gear with him. He puts it all on and then does his version of lap swimming, which involves slowly (verrrrry slowly) swimming around the perimeter of the pool.

So that alone would be a bit strange, but the t-shirt and suspenders just puts it over the top. None of the clothes are waterproof, they're just regular clothes. Although he does wear the same outfit every time, so clearly that's his swimming ensemble.

Please enlighten me. Is there some sort of event that I'm not aware of that he could be practicing for? Or is he just...unique?