Hope

My sister-in-law is currently performing against the odds. She had brain surgery this morning and the doctor seemed happy with the outcome. They were able to take her off the ventilator this afternoon and she's still very sedated and doped up but is responsive and even talking a little bit. She can apparently respond to simple commands from the doctors, like holding up the number of fingers they ask her to hold up. She recognized her husband and Penn, and even talked to them a little bit (they have her strapped to the bed right now because in her groggy state she keeps trying to remove all of her wires and tubes, and Penn said that she offered to pay him if he would undo the straps. So that's definitely a good sign.). Tomorrow as she becomes more aware of her surroundings they'll start a bunch of tests to see how she stands as far as physical and mental function. There's still so much she needs to overcome, but we're all encouraged by how well she seems to be doing so far. There are so many reasons to be hopeful, but she's not out of the woods yet and it's still really scary.
It's weird being in a limbo position here. I know I'm more helpful here where I can actually take care of the house and the pets and earn money, but it really sucks not being with my husband to offer physical support and to help him deal with his family. And it especially sucks having all of this up in the air. You know I hate not knowing what will happen next, and right now the options for what might happen next are so huge. Being at a hospital far from home would be useless right now, and I (selfishly) would rather not be with Penn's family in such a high stress situation where I know I would just feel awkward and in the way, but it feels so frustrating being here home alone, too.
Ugh. I have to write a midterm for my students to take tomorrow. Life goes on. I'll probably stop writing about this situation here since it's not really my trauma and talking about my minor role in it just feels selfish. But I couldn't just leave yesterday's post hanging without some kind of update. So that's that. Moving off this topic until I have something definitive (and good, hopefully) to say about it.