To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole "giving up things for Lent" deal. Take giving up vices, for example. A lot of people opt to give up a particular vice for Lent. Penn is giving up cussing, one year my dad gave up drinking shots, etc. It's a good idea in that it makes you stop a particular habit, but if it's something bad enough for me that I feel like I should give it up for six weeks, shouldn't I just stick it out and give it up for good? "They" (I forget who they are...experts of some kind, I suppose) say if you can stick to something for three weeks it becomes a habit, so if I can give up cussing or gossiping or any other vice I decide to give up for six weeks, shouldn't I just be glad that I've broken the habit and not go back to it at all?
The other option is to not give up a vice, but rather give up something you enjoy in the spirit of fasting and sacrifice. This makes more sense to me in theory, but in practice it's hard to think of what I would give up. It needs to be something that I do/eat/use often enough for it to be a true sacrifice. Sex? The internet? My after-dinner dessert? Reading novels? With most things I do on a regular basis, it seems like giving them up would be detrimental to my work or my personal relationships. And even if I did give up something I enjoy, what would that really accomplish? It might prove that I'm capable of self-sacrifice, but is that really what I'm supposed to be practicing right now? While giving up my after-dinner dessert might help with my goal to be nice and toned in time for wedding dress shopping, giving up something I enjoy would mostly just be an exercise in frustration and would allow me to prove to myself that I have willpower. Whoop-de-do.
I have a better idea: Why not use that willpower to do something positive in my life during Lent? Rather than giving something up, why not add something? Challenge myself, yes, but challenge myself to do something rather than ground myself from some arbitrary thing. So I've been thinking, since Penn is going to give something up for Lent (and that's cool; just because I don't really believe in giving things up myself doesn't mean I think it's a bad idea for him) I should probably try to do something to acknowledge this period, too.
I was hit with sudden inspiration last night as I was brushing my teeth before bed. I was thinking about the novel I just finished reading, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami. I absolutely loved the book. It was mesmerizing and strange and all about the mysterious borders between the conscious and unconscious, the real world and the dream world (if the two are in fact separate things, which this book makes me question). I can see how some might find the thick description tedious and boring and the non-linear story confusing, but those are elements I personally enjoy in my novels, so this one was right up my ally. Anyway, in the book, for various reasons that don't really need to be explained here, the protagonist ends up spending a lot of time sitting in the bottom of an empty well just thinking. He sometimes goes down there for hours, even days at a time, and sits in the dark and just thinks about his life. It made me think: when was the last time I sat completely still with nothing to distract me and just listened to my own thoughts?
I was hit with sudden inspiration last night as I was brushing my teeth before bed. I was thinking about the novel I just finished reading, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami. I absolutely loved the book. It was mesmerizing and strange and all about the mysterious borders between the conscious and unconscious, the real world and the dream world (if the two are in fact separate things, which this book makes me question). I can see how some might find the thick description tedious and boring and the non-linear story confusing, but those are elements I personally enjoy in my novels, so this one was right up my ally. Anyway, in the book, for various reasons that don't really need to be explained here, the protagonist ends up spending a lot of time sitting in the bottom of an empty well just thinking. He sometimes goes down there for hours, even days at a time, and sits in the dark and just thinks about his life. It made me think: when was the last time I sat completely still with nothing to distract me and just listened to my own thoughts?
I have no idea. I am always doing something during my waking hours. I'm reading or writing or texting or watching TV or eating or exercising or talking or some combination of all of those things. The closest I come to just being alone with my thoughts is when I'm waiting for the bus, but even then I'm usually reading something on my phone. Even when I'm lying in bed at night I'm not alone with my thoughts, mostly because I fall asleep pretty much as soon as my head hits the pillow (seriously, Penn has timed me and he said that sometimes I'm fast asleep within two minutes after we turn off the light. I'm a champion sleeper, provided I'm in a bed. I think I've had trouble falling asleep maybe twice in all the time I've lived with Penn). My point is, I never just sit still and be quiet and relax. Maybe it is time to start doing that once in a while.
So that's what I'm going to do during Lent. I'm going to spend ten minutes a day just sitting and doing nothing at all. I'll sit on my bed or at the dining room table or maybe outside on my balcony if winter ever ends here, and I'll just be still and do nothing. At first I thought that maybe I'd read passages from the Bible, but no. That's still feeding my constant urge to do something productive. That's not what I'm feeling inspired to do right now. The thought that hit me as I was brushing my teeth was "You need to be still." So I'm going to sit and breath and talk to myself in my mind, or maybe pray or meditate if that's what it turns into, but I'm not even going to deliberately try to pray. I'm just going to do nothing for ten minutes every day. That's a little over an hour a week, a little over seven hours total. That's not a lot of time at all in the grand scheme of things, but to be honest, even ten minutes a day of doing nothing sounds hard. I think that's why this will be good for me.
So that's what I'm going to do during Lent. I'm going to spend ten minutes a day just sitting and doing nothing at all. I'll sit on my bed or at the dining room table or maybe outside on my balcony if winter ever ends here, and I'll just be still and do nothing. At first I thought that maybe I'd read passages from the Bible, but no. That's still feeding my constant urge to do something productive. That's not what I'm feeling inspired to do right now. The thought that hit me as I was brushing my teeth was "You need to be still." So I'm going to sit and breath and talk to myself in my mind, or maybe pray or meditate if that's what it turns into, but I'm not even going to deliberately try to pray. I'm just going to do nothing for ten minutes every day. That's a little over an hour a week, a little over seven hours total. That's not a lot of time at all in the grand scheme of things, but to be honest, even ten minutes a day of doing nothing sounds hard. I think that's why this will be good for me.
I'll let you know how it goes.
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